Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatical, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, and add one supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repetition and fix word order (e.g. "I read comic books from Japan").

예시: Yes. When I was a teenager I dreamed of becoming a comic artist because I read Japanese comic books and loved their storytelling and character designs. For example, I admired how artists drew expressive eyes and dynamic poses, which inspired me to try drawing my own characters.

제안: Make your response direct and structured. Begin with a clear statement about whether you share your dreams, then give one or two specific supporting details linked with words like "however" or "but". Correct tense and phrasing (e.g. "I do share", "I work on art as a side project").

예시: I do tell some people about my dream. However, I haven't pursued it full-time; most of my art is a side project that I do in my free time, and only a few close friends know how serious I am about it.

제안: Express the idea more clearly and use accurate vocabulary. Start with a direct opinion, then explain with a reason and an example. Replace unclear words ("ambassion", "code") with "ambition" and "motivation". Keep sentences concise and avoid filler words.

예시: Yes, I do. I believe dreams are ambitions that give you motivation and direction. For instance, having the goal of becoming an artist can make you practice more and choose activities that help you reach that goal.

제안: Give a clear, grammatically correct response: state your desire, explain the obstacle with specific details, and finish with a hopeful conclusion using linking words (e.g. "however", "although"). Avoid vague phrasing like "I have saw that before".

예시: Yes, I still want to make my dream come true. However, recent technological changes in the industry have confused me and made me worry about how to adapt, so I paused for a while. Despite that, I am still learning new digital tools and hope to return to my goal in the future.

× I remembered when I was a teenager I dreamed for being a comic artist because I was comics books from Japan and I also like their styles and stories like into it, especially the styles that the characters have, the beautiful eyes and their.

✓ I remember when I was a teenager I dreamed of becoming a comic artist because I loved comics from Japan and I also liked their styles and stories, especially the way the characters had beautiful eyes.

Errors: incorrect past tense forms and verb choices. 'I remembered' should be 'I remember' (present reference to memory) or 'I remembered' if narrating past; here 'I remember' fits better. 'Dreamed for being' is incorrect — use 'dreamed of becoming'. 'I was comics books' is wrong — use 'I loved comics' or 'I liked comics'. Maintain past tense consistently: 'loved' and 'liked'. Also adjust word order and collocations ('the way the characters had beautiful eyes'). Suggestion: use correct verb patterns (dream of + -ing/becoming) and consistent past tense verbs when describing past feelings.

× Hmm I don't remember I sure my dream with another but some of my friends know I want to be an artist but I haven't let this dream come true.

✓ Hmm I don't remember. I shared my dream with others, and some of my friends know I want to be an artist, but I haven't made this dream come true.

Errors: incorrect pronouns and sentence fragments. 'I sure my dream with another' is incorrect pronoun and verb choice — should be 'I shared my dream with others'. 'Another' is wrong; use 'others'. Also combine clauses with proper punctuation. 'Haven't let this dream come true' is unnatural; use 'haven't made this dream come true'. Suggestion: use correct verbs for sharing (share/shared) and correct pronouns ('others').

× I only be be art doing arts in my side hustle and the free time so I.

✓ I only do art as a side hustle and in my free time.

Errors: poor sentence structure and repeated words ('be be') and incorrect phrasing ('doing arts in my side hustle and the free time so I'). Correct: 'do art as a side hustle and in my free time.' Suggestion: use concise structure: subject + verb + object and place/time phrases ('as a side hustle', 'in my free time').

× Yes, that's true. I think dream is a ambassion that, uh, keep your motivated code, keep, uh, increase your motivation and you will willing to reach that goal and the fulfill your life that is essential for everyone's life, not only for fun to do something you like it.

✓ Yes, that's true. I think a dream is an ambition that keeps you motivated, increases your motivation, and makes you willing to reach that goal and fulfill your life; this is essential for everyone, not just for fun to do something you like.

Errors: article misuse ('dream is a ambassion' should be 'a dream is an ambition' and 'an ambition'), incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement ('keep your motivated' -> 'keeps you motivated'), awkward phrasing ('the fulfill your life') and redundancy. Use correct articles 'a' and 'an', correct verb forms (keeps, increases, makes), and clearer sentence structure. Suggestion: simplify and use correct collocations ('keeps you motivated', 'fulfill your life').

× Yes, I have saw that before but now I struggling with the technology developments let me confuse and worry about what I am doing.

✓ Yes, I have seen that before, but now I am struggling with technological developments that confuse and worry me about what I am doing.

Errors: incorrect past participle ('have saw' should be 'have seen'), missing auxiliary for present continuous ('I struggling' -> 'I am struggling'), incorrect noun phrase ('technology developments' -> 'technological developments'), and awkward clause ('let me confuse and worry' -> 'that confuse and worry me'). Suggestion: use correct present perfect ('have seen') and present continuous ('am struggling'), and correct word order for clauses that describe cause/effect.

× That's why I stopped. But I think that can become true in someday because I still keep it going.

✓ That's why I stopped. But I think it can come true someday because I am still keeping it going.

Errors: incorrect modal construction and adverb placement ('that can become true in someday' should be 'it can come true someday'), and awkward progressive phrase ('I still keep it going' -> 'I am still keeping it going' or better 'I am still working on it'). Suggestion: use correct subject 'it' for dreams, place 'someday' at end, and use natural verbs ('come true', 'working on it').