Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce fillers (uh), make the answer more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like "so" or "therefore" to connect ideas and avoid redundancy (e.g., avoid repeating "I remember" and "have had").

예시: I don’t remember all my dreams because research shows we often forget them soon after waking. However, when I do recall a dream, I write it down in a notebook so I can reread it later.

제안: Fix repetition and small vocabulary errors, and combine sentences to sound smoother. Use correct word choice ("streams" → "dreams" or "submissions") and include a linking word like "also" or "besides" to connect ideas. Give one specific example of how you share (e.g., message, forum post).

예시: When I remember a dream, I usually post it on a forum or message a friend online. I’m also interested in other people’s dreams and often read submissions on a site called World Dream Bank.

제안: Avoid short, blunt answers without support; provide one clear reason and an example. Remove fillers and use linking words like "because" or "for example" to make the response coherent. Replace awkward phrases ("portend to something") with natural expressions ("predict the future").

예시: Generally, I don’t think dreams have special meanings because they seem irrational and random. For example, I often dream about bizarre scenarios that don’t relate to my real life, so I don’t interpret them as predictions.

제안: The answer is clear but slightly wordy. Start with a concise topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief example. Use linking words like "because" and "for example" to improve coherence and avoid double hedging ("I wouldn't say that I want").

예시: No, I wouldn’t want my dreams to come true because they are often chaotic and nonsensical. For example, I sometimes dream about impossible scenarios that would disrupt my daily routine, so I prefer stability in real life.

× I wouldn't say that I remember all of them because, uh, as science has proven, you usually, uh, forget all your dreams about maybe one or two minutes after waking up.

✓ I wouldn't say that I remember all of them because, as science has proven, you usually forget your dreams about one or two minutes after waking up.

Redundant words and filler 'uh' should be removed for clarity; 'all your dreams about maybe one or two minutes' is awkwardly phrased. Use present simple 'you usually forget your dreams about one or two minutes after waking up' to state a general truth. Remove extra 'all' before 'your dreams' to avoid repetition.

× But whenever I do remember the dreams I have had, I would write them down so I can read back on them later.

✓ But whenever I remember a dream, I write it down so I can read it later.

Original mixes tenses and uses 'have had' unnecessarily. For habitual action use present simple 'I remember' and 'I write'. Use singular 'a dream' and pronoun 'it' for clarity. 'Read back on them' is nonstandard; 'read it later' is natural.

× Whenever I whenever I do remember my dreams I would share them with my friend on the Internet.

✓ Whenever I remember my dreams, I share them with my friend on the Internet.

Remove repeated phrase and filler. For habitual action use present simple 'I remember' and 'I share' instead of conditional 'I would share'.

× And I'm also interested in reading other stream.

✓ And I'm also interested in reading other people's dream reports.

'Other stream' is incorrect. Use a noun phrase describing what is read: 'other people's dream reports' or 'other people's dreams'. This clarifies meaning and uses correct noun forms.

× There's a website called World Dream Banks where people will submit their retellings of their dreams.

✓ There's a website called World Dream Bank where people submit retellings of their dreams.

Website name likely singular 'World Dream Bank'. For habitual or general fact use present simple 'people submit' rather than 'will submit'.

× People usually see dreams as prescient or intended to portend to something, but I just don't see the rationality or logic in that, uh, perception at all.

✓ People usually see dreams as prescient or as intending to portend something, but I don't see the rationality or logic in that perception at all.

Remove filler 'uh'. Use 'as intending to portend something' or simply 'as prescient or portending something'. Avoid double 'to' after 'portend'. Maintain present simple for general belief.

× I wouldn't say that I want my dreams to come true because most of the time I usually dream of chaotic or nonsensical situations and I like when my life has order, so it won't be very preferable if my dreams were to come true.

✓ I wouldn't say that I want my dreams to come true because most of the time I dream about chaotic or nonsensical situations, and I like my life to have order, so it wouldn't be preferable if my dreams came true.

Avoid redundant 'most of the time' with 'usually' removed. Use 'dream about' rather than 'dream of' for situations. Use 'I like my life to have order' or 'I like when my life is orderly'. Use conditional 'it wouldn't be preferable if my dreams came true' (second conditional) for hypothetical situations; 'were to come true' is acceptable but keep tense consistency.