Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy and fluency, avoid repetition, and give a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details. Keep answer under five sentences and use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I can remember some of my dreams. For example, as a child I dreamed of becoming a skilled software developer, and I still aim to advance professionally now. Recently I completed a coding course, which brought me closer to that goal.

제안: Clarify wording and avoid awkward phrases (e.g., 'new party'). State a clear reason and add a brief example; use linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Keep to one main idea with supporting detail.

예시: I usually don't share my dreams with people because I believe talking about them might jinx the outcome. For instance, I kept my plan to apply for a scholarship private, and that helped me stay focused.

제안: Make the explanation more precise and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement). Provide a clearer link between emotions and motivation, and give a concrete example of how a dream conveyed meaning or motivation.

예시: Yes, I think dreams can have meaning because they often reflect our emotions or concerns. For example, dreaming about failing exams made me realize I was anxious, so I studied harder and improved my grades.

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence, correct the incomplete ending, and add a specific plan or example of actions you take to achieve a dream. Use linking words like 'however' appropriately to contrast ideas.

예시: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true, although it can be difficult. For example, to become a better developer I study online courses and build projects every week, so I gradually reach my goals.

× For example, when I was a child, I I was dreaming of becoming a good software developer.

✓ For example, when I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a good software developer.

Redundant continuous past 'was dreaming' is inappropriate for a general past desire; use simple past 'dreamed' to state a habitual or past intention. Also remove duplicate 'I'. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits or desires and proofread for repeated words.

× Also I wanted to become more professional in my career and some of that right now really done.

✓ Also, I wanted to become more professional in my career, and some of that has really been done now.

Sentence mixes past desire with present result. Use present perfect passive 'has been done' to indicate actions completed with current relevance. Add commas for clarity and correct word order. 'Some of that' refers to progress, so present perfect is appropriate.

× No, I don't like to share my dreams with a new party because as far as I know, if I tell anyone about one of my dream then it probably would not come true, so I prefer to keep it silent.

✓ No, I don't like to share my dreams with a new person because, as far as I know, if I tell anyone about one of my dreams it probably will not come true, so I prefer to keep it to myself.

Errors: 'a new party' is unnatural — use 'a new person'; 'one of my dream' requires plural 'dreams'; modal verb order 'would' vs 'will' — 'will' is more natural for probable future; 'keep it silent' is incorrect collocation—use 'keep it to myself'. Also add commas for readability.

× Yes, I think so because dreams usually come when someone is feeling is suffering from something in particular.

✓ Yes, I think so because dreams usually come when someone is suffering from something in particular.

Redundant verb phrase 'is feeling is suffering' is ungrammatical. Use 'is suffering' or just 'suffer' depending on style. Here present continuous 'is suffering' fits. Remove extra words to form a clear clause.

× So our dreams keeps us motivated to achieve our things.

✓ So our dreams keep us motivated to achieve our goals.

Subject 'dreams' is plural, so verb should be 'keep' not 'keeps'. 'Achieve our things' is awkward—use 'achieve our goals' or 'achieve things we want'. Improve word choice for natural expression.

× Yes, I do like to make all of my dreams come true, but sometimes this is not the case.

✓ Yes, I would like to make all of my dreams come true, but sometimes that is not possible.

Use 'would like' to express desire politely; 'this is not the case' is vague—'that is not possible' more clearly expresses that some dreams cannot be realized. Align modal choice with intended meaning.

× However, we need to work hard, study hard, and try our best to make them come true, at least the one that.

✓ However, we need to work hard, study hard, and try our best to make them come true, at least some of them.

The phrase 'at least the one that' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Replace with 'at least some of them' to convey a realistic expectation. Ensure parallel structure in the list 'work hard, study hard, and try our best'.