Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you remember dreams, then give a brief reason and one specific example. Avoid vague phrasing like "stopped to think about them." Use linking words (e.g., "when", "so", "but") and keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I can remember some childhood dreams. For example, when I was a child I wanted to become a singer because I loved singing and performing at school. But as I grew up I stopped thinking about those dreams because I focused on my studies and career.

제안: Make the connection between personal dreams and professional goals clearer and correct grammatical errors. Use specific details: who you share with, how you share, and what benefit you get. Use linking words like "because" and "so" to show cause and effect.

예시: Yes, I often share my professional goals with colleagues. Because I am a researcher, I tell them I want to help my local community through my work, and discussing these plans motivates me and helps me get practical feedback.

제안: Clarify your stance and avoid double negatives. Start with a clear answer (Yes/No), give a reason, and provide a short example. Remove hesitations and repetition to sound more fluent and natural.

예시: No, I don't think dreams have special meanings for me because I rarely remember dreaming now. When I was a child I enjoyed vivid dreams, but as an adult I hardly recall them, so I don't read much meaning into them.

제안: Be concise and logical about short- and long-term goals. Use linking words ("first", "then", "after that") and correct tense and articles. Be specific about what steps you will take to achieve the dream and avoid contradictory statements (researcher vs. doctor) without explanation.

예시: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true. First, I plan to finish my research work in Australia and return to Japan in 2027 to continue as a researcher. After gaining experience, I hope to use my skills to benefit my local community, perhaps by working closely with medical professionals or pursuing further training to support community health.

× I'd like to become a singer because I loved singing songs.

✓ I wanted to become a singer because I loved singing songs.

The student uses 'I'd like to become' (would like) which expresses present desire, but context 'when I was a child' requires past-tense desire. Change to 'I wanted' to match the past time frame and maintain consistent tense. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs for desires or intentions in the past (e.g., 'I wanted to become...').

× After becoming an adult, I stopped to think about them.

✓ After becoming an adult, I stopped thinking about them.

The phrase 'stopped to think' means pausing an action in order to think, which is not intended. The student means they ceased the activity of thinking about dreams, so use the gerund 'stopped thinking'. Suggestion: Use 'stop' + gerund to indicate ceasing an action (stopped doing something).

× As a researcher, I want to contribute a local people by my research and I always share my dreams to my colleagues because sharing gives me power to do my job.

✓ As a researcher, I want to contribute to local people through my research and I always share my dreams with my colleagues because sharing gives me the motivation to do my job.

Several issues: 'contribute a local people' is ungrammatical—use 'contribute to local people' or 'contribute to my local community'. 'by my research' is awkward; use 'through my research'. 'share my dreams to my colleagues' uses incorrect preposition; correct is 'share with'. 'gives me power' is understandable but 'gives me the motivation' or 'energy' is more natural. Suggestions: use correct prepositions ('contribute to', 'share with') and choose appropriate quantifiers/phrases ('local people' -> 'local community').

× Yes, I tend to share my dreams with others.

✓ Yes, I tend to share my dreams with others.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It uses present simple appropriately to describe habitual action. No change needed.

× Uh, I don't think so. MMM, because in my case I don't dream at all.

✓ Uh, I don't think so. Um, in my case I don't dream at all.

Mainly stylistic: 'MMM' should be 'Um' as a vocal filler in writing. The rest 'I don't think so' and 'I don't dream at all' correctly use present simple to state beliefs and habitual state. Suggest using 'Um' and avoid redundant 'because' when not completing the clause.

× When I was a child I enjoyed my dream, but now, hmm, I don't dream.

✓ When I was a child, I enjoyed my dreams, but now I don't dream.

Use plural 'dreams' because children typically have multiple dreams; 'enjoyed my dream' sounds like a single dream. Also maintain tense consistency: 'When I was a child' (past) with 'enjoyed'. Punctuation: add comma after introductory clause. Suggest pluralize 'dreams' when referring generally.

× So I don't think dreams don't have any special meanings.

✓ So I don't think dreams have any special meaning.

The original contains a double negative ('I don't think' + 'don't have') resulting in unintended meaning. Remove the inner 'don't' and use singular 'meaning' or 'meanings'—'any special meaning' is more natural. Suggest avoid double negatives and choose singular/plural consistently.

× And I think my dream is not so difficult now.

✓ And I think my dream is not so difficult now.

This sentence is acceptable: present simple 'think' expresses current opinion and 'is not so difficult now' correctly refers to present condition. No grammatical correction needed.

× I work as a researcher in Australia and I will go back to Japan in 2027 and I'd work as a researcher then.

✓ I work as a researcher in Australia, and I will go back to Japan in 2027 and work as a researcher there.

'I'd work as a researcher then' is unclear: 'I'd' could be 'I would' which is conditional and wrong here. Use simple future 'will' or simple present for scheduled plans; 'work as a researcher there' clarifies location. Also add comma for clarity. Suggest using 'will' for definite future plans or simple present for timetabled events.

× And after that I want to contribute to my local community to work as a doctor.

✓ After that, I want to contribute to my local community by working as a doctor.

The phrase 'contribute to my local community to work as a doctor' incorrectly chains infinitives. Use 'contribute... by working as a doctor' to show the means. Also add a comma after 'After that'. Suggest using 'by' + gerund to express method ('by doing something').