Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., "I sometimes remember my dreams after I wake up") and remove repeated words.

예시: Yes, I can sometimes remember my dreams after I wake up. For example, I often dream that I can fly in the sky, which makes me feel free and excited because I can see the whole city from above.

제안: Give a direct answer then explain briefly with clearer vocabulary and grammar. Replace fillers ("umm") and correct words ("gym" → "dream"). Use linking words like "however" or "but" to connect ideas and add a specific example of when you might listen to others' dreams.

예시: No, I usually don't share my dreams because I consider them private. However, I am interested in other people's dreams, for example when a friend describes a recurring dream I listen carefully to see if we have similar hopes or fears.

제안: Answer directly, then explain your change of opinion with clearer linking words ("when I was younger... but now..."). Use more precise vocabulary ("meant" → "meant something") and give a concrete reason for the shift in belief.

예시: I'm not sure, but my view has changed. When I was younger I thought dreams had hidden meanings, for example dreaming about travel felt like a sign, but as I grew up I began to think they are just random thoughts from the day.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then distinguish two types of dreams with linking words ("if... then..., but..."). Correct grammar and word choice ("come true", "dreams", "achieve"). Provide a specific example of a dream you would pursue and one you wouldn't.

예시: It depends on the dream. If a dream is unrealistic, like becoming an astronaut when I lack the skills or opportunities, I wouldn't try to make it come true; but if it's realistic—such as traveling to Japan—I would plan and save money to achieve it.

× Definitely, I sometimes remember, remember my dream after I woke up.

✓ Definitely, I sometimes remember my dreams after I wake up.

The original uses repetitive 'remember, remember' and mixes past 'woke up' with a habitual action. Use plural 'dreams' for repeated events (singular/plural issue but corrected via present habitual) and present simple 'wake up' to describe what regularly happens. Remove duplication. Suggestion: use 'I sometimes remember my dreams after I wake up.'

× For example, I always dream that uh, I could fly in, in the sky and then I, I thought that, that I want to be free.

✓ For example, I often dream that I can fly in the sky, and I feel that I want to be free.

Problems include wrong tense and modal use: 'could' and 'thought' mismatch with present habitual 'dream'. Replace 'could' with 'can' for an imaginative present ability, and 'thought' with 'feel' to match ongoing sensation. Remove filler repetition and redundant commas. Use 'in the sky' once. Suggestion: maintain consistent present tense for recurring dreams.

× No I I don't want to share my dream with others because I think it should be umm private thing but I sometimes interested in others gym because I wonder if our humans like me, like others we share the same hope, same same dream.

✓ No, I don't want to share my dreams with others because I think they should be private, but I am sometimes interested in others' dreams because I wonder if people like me and others share the same hopes and dreams.

Multiple errors: pluralization and possessive ('others gym' presumably 'others' dreams'), pronoun reference ('it should be ... thing' -> 'they should be private'), missing verb 'am' in 'I sometimes interested' and awkward phrase 'our humans'. Correct by using plural 'dreams', possessive 'others'', proper subject 'people', and include the verb 'am'. Suggestion: use 'I am sometimes interested in others' dreams' and 'people like me' for clarity.

× When I was a child I thought it meant something, especially after I dreamed about like traveling to someplace or becoming someone.

✓ When I was a child I thought dreams meant something, especially when I dreamed about traveling somewhere or about becoming someone.

Minor tense and wording issues: 'dreamed about like traveling to someplace' is awkward. Use 'when I dreamed about traveling somewhere' and make subject 'dreams' clear. Keep past tense 'was' and 'thought' consistent. Suggestion: simplify phrasing and avoid filler 'like'.

× But when I grow up I think it doesn't mean anything.

✓ But now that I have grown up, I don't think they mean anything.

Tense mismatch: 'when I grow up' is future; the speaker refers to present state after growing up. Use present perfect 'have grown up' and plural 'they' (dreams). Suggestion: use 'now that I have grown up' for completed life change.

× It depends on what kind of dream.

✓ It depends on what kind of dream it is.

Sentence lacks a verb; to be complete, add 'it is'. The error maps to needing present simple verb rather than -ing; here add linking verb. Suggestion: use full clause 'It depends on what kind of dream it is.'

× If my dream it should be come someone which I cannot achieve in my life.

✓ If my dream is to become someone I cannot be in my life,

Original has broken structure: extra 'it should be come' incorrect verb forms. Replace with 'is to become' to express purpose/goal. Also 'which I cannot achieve in my life' awkward; use 'I cannot be in my life' or 'I cannot achieve in my life' after rephrasing. Suggestion: use 'If my dream is to become someone I cannot become in my life,'

× I would not like want to come true.

✓ I would not want it to come true.

Redundant 'like want' and wrong word order. Use conditional 'would not want' and 'it to come true' as object. Suggestion: 'I would not want it to come true.'

× But there are some gym which means I want to go someplace I may be take a travel to to get there.

✓ But there are some dreams that mean I want to go someplace; I might take a trip to get there.

Multiple issues: 'gym' should be 'dreams', wrong relative 'which means' needs 'that mean', 'I may be take a travel to to get there' incorrect modal and noun usage. Replace with 'I might take a trip' and remove duplicate 'to'. Suggestion: use 'might' + base verb and 'take a trip' for natural phrasing.

× I can realize it.

✓ I can make them come true.

Awkward 'realize it' for making dreams happen. Use 'make them come true' or 'achieve them'. Also match plural 'dreams'. Suggestion: use 'I can make them come true' to express ability to achieve dreams.