Dreams— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は直接的で内容は明確ですが、文がやや短く詳しい具体例やリンク表現が欠けています。また文法（時制や語順）を少し改善するとより自然に聞こえます。例えば過去の経験→感情→結果の順に整理すると良いです。具体的には、過去形の動詞や接続詞（because, so, therefore, for example）を適切に使い、1～2つの付加情報（いつ、どのように学んだか、どんな経験が印象的だったか）を加えてください。

예시: Yes, I can. When I was a child I wanted to be a dancer because I took dance lessons from age six. I enjoyed performing in school shows, so that early experience made dancing a real passion for me.

제안: 答えは正直ですが、同じ理由が重複しており流れが不自然です。否定の後に理由を一度だけ明確に述べ、さらに具体例（誰に話さないのか、状況）や対策（どう克服したいか）を付け加えると会話が豊かになります。接続詞（because, although, however）を使って文をつなげてください。

예시: Not really. I tend to be shy, so I usually hesitate to tell others about my dreams because I worry they might not understand. However, I have started sharing small goals with close friends to practice expressing myself.

제안: 意見は明確で妥当ですが表現がやや一般的です。“help us improve own skills”の語順と冠詞に注意してください。より説得力を増すために具体例（どのようなスキルを向上させるか）や結果（どう変わったか）を加え、接続語で理由と例をつなげてください。

예시: Yes, I do. Dreams give us motivation and, for example, my goal to become a dancer encouraged me to practice daily and improve my technique and confidence.

제안: 意欲は伝わりますが文法と語の選び方（"get dream"は不自然）を改善する必要があります。また、具体性を高めるために現在の状況（例えば今何をしているか、具体的な目標）や計画を一つ加えてください。接続詞を使って理由と行動を明確に説明すると良いです。

예시: Yes, I do. I want to become a professional dancer because I have practiced dancing for 15 years, so I am now taking advanced courses and auditioning for local companies to pursue that goal.

× Yes. When I was a child, I wanted to be a dancer because I learned to dance then.

✓ Yes. When I was a child, I wanted to be a dancer because I was learning to dance then.

The original uses 'learned to dance' which implies a completed action; since the speaker is describing an ongoing activity in childhood that motivated the desire, the past continuous 'was learning' is more natural. Use past continuous to express an activity in progress at that time. Suggestion: use 'was learning to dance' to show the process.

× It was fun for me to dance.

✓ Dancing was fun for me.

The original sentence is grammatical but awkward in register and word order. Reordering to 'Dancing was fun for me' makes the sentence more natural and idiomatic in English. Suggestion: use the gerund as the subject for smoother phrasing.

× No, I'm shy so I hesitated to share my dreams, so it is difficult for me to express my feelings.

✓ No, I'm shy, so I hesitated to share my dreams; therefore it is difficult for me to express my feelings.

The main issues are punctuation and logical flow rather than strict grammar; linking words should be used properly. Also 'hesitated' (past) with 'is difficult' (present) is acceptable if meaning is that past shyness affects present, but clearer sequence uses a conjunction and punctuation. Suggestion: connect clauses with appropriate punctuation and linking adverbs for clarity.

× Yes, I think it is important for us to have dreams because they give us motivation and help us improve own skills.

✓ Yes, I think it is important for us to have dreams because they give us motivation and help us improve our skills.

The phrase 'own skills' is missing a possessive determiner. Use 'our skills' to match the subject 'us'. This is a present-tense general statement; 'help us improve our skills' is natural. Suggestion: include the appropriate possessive adjective ('our').

× Yes, I do. I want to be a dancer because I have practiced dancing for 15 years, so it is important for me to get dream.

✓ Yes, I do. I want to be a dancer because I have practiced dancing for 15 years, so it is important for me to achieve my dream.

'Get dream' is ungrammatical. Use a verb like 'achieve' or 'fulfill' with a possessive noun: 'achieve my dream' or 'fulfill my dream'. Also 'practiced dancing for 15 years' is fine (present perfect), and 'achieve my dream' matches the meaning. Suggestion: replace 'get dream' with 'achieve my dream' or 'fulfill my dream' and include the possessive 'my'.