Relax— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., 'I've been quite stressed' → 'I've been quite stressed recently'), and avoid repetition. Use linking words to add concise supporting details (how often, what you do there, and why it helps). Also keep it to at most 3–4 sentences.

예시: I've been feeling quite stressed recently, so I often visit a nearby park. I usually walk for about half an hour and then sit on a bench for 30–40 minutes to clear my mind. This quiet time helps me relax because the fresh air and gentle exercise calm me down.

제안: Answer directly: say who you relax with (e.g., 'myself' or 'my family'). If you want to explain you relax by cooking, state it clearly as a supporting detail and link ideas with words like 'so' or 'which'. Avoid filler sounds and tense errors.

예시: I usually relax by myself because I find solitude helps me unwind. I often cook when I'm stressed, as it's a hobby that distracts me and helps reduce my tension.

제안: Give a clear opinion first, then qualify it with specific reasons and examples. Use correct grammar for general statements (e.g., 'I think listening to music can be relaxing' and 'it depends on the type of music'). Use linking words like 'however' or 'for example' to contrast effects of different music types.

예시: I think listening to music can be relaxing, but it depends on the type. For example, slow, mellow songs help me unwind, whereas fast, upbeat music makes me feel more energetic and upbeat rather than calm.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence listing your main relaxation activities, then give one specific example or brief reason for each using linking words (e.g., 'for example' or 'also'). Reduce hesitation and avoid repeating words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I usually relax by cooking, listening to music, or reading. For example, cooking distracts me and gives a sense of accomplishment, while reading helps me escape and calm my mind.

× Well, I am very stressful.

✓ Well, I am very stressed.

The adjective 'stressful' describes something that causes stress, not a person's feeling. Use 'stressed' to describe a person's emotional state. Suggestion: use 'stressed' or 'feeling stressed'.

× I often go a nearby park.

✓ I often go to a nearby park.

The verb 'go' requires the preposition 'to' when indicating movement towards a place. Also include the article 'a' before 'nearby park'. Suggestion: 'go to a nearby park' or 'visit a nearby park'.

× I walk for half an hour and sit set a bench lonely for 30 to 40 minutes.

✓ I walk for half an hour and sit alone on a bench for 30 to 40 minutes.

Multiple issues: 'sit set' is incorrect word choice; 'lonely' is an adjective describing people, while 'alone' describes the state of sitting alone. Preposition 'on' is required with 'bench'. Correct verbs and agreement: 'walk' and 'sit' are fine in present simple for habitual actions. Suggestion: 'sit alone on a bench'.

× It it's it's keep my mind relaxed and.

✓ It keeps my mind relaxed.

Repeated filler words 'it's' should be removed. Subject-verb agreement requires 'it keeps' (third-person singular). The trailing 'and' is incomplete and should be omitted. Suggestion: say: 'It keeps my mind relaxed.'

× I relax with the cooking, uh, when, uh, whenever I feel stressed, uh, I started cooking because cooking is my hobby.

✓ I relax by cooking. Whenever I feel stressed, I start cooking because it is my hobby.

Use preposition 'by' + gerund to describe the activity used to relax. Tense consistency: use present simple 'start' for habitual action rather than past 'started'. 'Cooking' repeated; replace with 'it' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: 'I relax by cooking. Whenever I feel stressed, I start cooking because it is my hobby.'

× I love to cooking and uh, my stress and uh, my anger reduced by cooking.

✓ I love cooking, and my stress and anger are reduced by cooking.

After 'love' use either 'to' + base verb or gerund, but not 'to cooking'. Use 'I love to cook' or 'I love cooking'. Passive structure 'my stress and anger are reduced by cooking' needs auxiliary 'are' for present simple passive. Suggestion: 'I love cooking, and cooking reduces my stress and anger.'

× Yet I think listening listening to music is a relaxing because it's depend on the music which type of music we are listen.

✓ Yes, I think listening to music is relaxing because it depends on the type of music we listen to.

Use 'Yes' instead of 'Yet' for agreement. Remove duplicate 'listening'. 'Relaxing' is fine without 'a'. Use 'depends on' (verb + preposition). 'Which type of music we are listen' is ungrammatical: use 'the type of music we listen to' or 'what type of music we listen to'. Maintain present simple for general truth. Suggestion: 'I think listening to music is relaxing because it depends on the type of music we listen to.'

× If we are listen fast music, it's give us energy and I we feel very energetic and so and excited if if when we.

✓ If we listen to fast music, it gives us energy and we feel very energetic and excited.

Present simple condition: 'we listen to' not 'are listen'. Add preposition 'to' after 'listen'. Subject-verb agreement: 'it gives' (third person singular). Remove filler words and incomplete clause. Suggestion: 'If we listen to fast music, it gives us energy and we feel very energetic and excited.'

× I usually do, uh, many things, uh, to relax myself, Uh, I uh, do cooking and, uh, listen music.

✓ I usually do many things to relax. I cook and listen to music.

Avoid filler 'uh'. Use 'cook' or 'do cooking' but simpler: 'I cook'. 'Listen music' needs preposition 'to': 'listen to music'. Also 'relax myself' is unnecessary; 'relax' suffices. Use present simple for habitual actions. Suggestion: 'I usually do many things to relax. I cook and listen to music.'

× Uh, if uh, I'm not doing these things, I read a book, uh, which relax my mind and, uh, feel and helps, helps me, helps me to.

✓ If I'm not doing these things, I read a book, which relaxes my mind and helps me unwind.

Tense and subject-verb agreement: 'which relaxes my mind' (third-person singular). The phrase 'helps me to' is incomplete; use 'helps me unwind' or 'helps me relax'. Remove repeated 'helps'. Suggestion: 'If I'm not doing these things, I read a book, which relaxes my mind and helps me unwind.'