Science— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and shows enthusiasm, but it's a little repetitive and slightly wordy. Keep it concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and an example. Avoid redundancies like “facts and proof” and “myths and fairy tales.” Use one strong supporting detail and a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I do. I find science fascinating because it explains how things work in everyday life; for example, understanding germs helped me improve hygiene practices at home.

제안: Good chronological answer and relevant details, but avoid filler words (“like”) and overly broad claims (“every single detail”). Use coherent linking words and a concise example of how you learned (e.g., podcasts, courses). Correct minor grammar: ‘a lot of podcasts’ and use past tense consistently.

예시: I began studying science seriously after high school when I majored in biology and geology. For instance, I listened to several podcasts on the Big Bang theory to deepen my understanding.

제안: The answer names a clear subject and gives reasons, but it is repetitive and ends abruptly. Avoid listing too many items; pick two specific aspects and link them. Complete your sentence and remove redundancy (‘explore’ used twice).

예시: Biology interests me most because it explains human anatomy and how microbes affect health; for example, learning about bacteria helped me understand why handwashing prevents illness.

제안: You give a relevant context (teaching) but the answer has grammar issues and redundancy. Remove negative hedging (“I wouldn't say”), correct grammar (e.g., ‘I conduct science experiments’), and provide one specific example of an experiment or activity and its outcome to make the answer concrete.

예시: As a primary school teacher, I run simple experiments like planting seeds to teach growth; for example, students observed seed germination over two weeks, which improved their interest in biology.

제안: Answer is honest but slightly contradictory and wordy. Be concise: give a clear topic sentence (no), a brief reason, and an alternative way you learn science. Avoid dramatic words like ‘desperately’ and explain briefly why they’re hard (e.g., too technical).

예시: Not really; I find many science programs too technical, so instead I read popular science articles and listen to podcasts to learn new ideas more easily.

제안: Your answer is speculative and could be risky. Avoid generalizations about a nationality. Instead, acknowledge uncertainty and give a cautious, balanced opinion with reasons or say you don't know and suggest a plausible factor (e.g., school trips). Keep it concise and avoid stereotypes like ‘good at STEM.’

예시: I'm not sure, but I think many people visit science museums, especially students on school trips, because museums offer hands-on exhibits that support STEM learning.

× So I started like listening to a lot of podcast.

✓ So I started listening to a lot of podcasts.

The original uses filler 'like' and 'podcast' (singular) which is incorrect. 'Started' is followed by the -ing form 'listening' (correct), but 'podcast' should be plural 'podcasts' to agree with 'a lot of'. Remove the filler 'like' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'started listening to a lot of podcasts.'

× ...everything that it's relevant to us.

✓ ...everything that is relevant to us.

The phrase 'it's relevant to us' incorrectly inserts the contraction 'it's' within a relative clause. Use the relative clause 'that is relevant to us' or 'which is relevant to us.' Avoid contractions inside relative clauses for clarity.

× I'd love to explore more about certain theories, facts, evidence and explore my knowledge because.

✓ I'd love to explore certain theories, facts, and evidence to expand my knowledge.

The original ends with a dangling 'because' and repeats 'explore' awkwardly. This is a sentence structure problem: remove the incomplete 'because' and avoid repetition. Use 'to expand my knowledge' to show purpose.

× So my not my prior knowledge of science has helped me to like help my students.

✓ So my prior knowledge of science has helped me to help my students.

The sentence contains duplication 'my not my' and filler 'like' which are incorrect pronoun/use and colloquial. Remove the extra words and fillers to produce a clear statement. Also 'helped me to help' could be simplified to 'helped me help'. Either is acceptable; here we use 'helped me to help' for clarity.

× ...I do not watch science TV programs, but I desperately want to learn more about these facts, evidence to deepen my understanding.

✓ I do not watch science TV programs, but I really want to learn more about the facts and evidence to deepen my understanding.

The adverb 'desperately' is too strong and odd here; replace with 'really' for natural modal/emphasis usage. Also insert 'and' between 'facts' and 'evidence' and remove unnecessary commas. This fixes awkward modality and coordination.

× Well, I'm not Chinese myself and I don't have Chinese friends so I cannot tell if they are really intrigued by science museums, but if I had to guess, it would definitely be yes because they're good at STEM subjects, which means they have a knack for science and they're really interested in this subject.

✓ Well, I'm not Chinese and I don't have Chinese friends, so I cannot say whether they visit science museums often; if I had to guess, I would say yes, because many Chinese students perform well in STEM subjects and may be interested in science.

Original contains vague and potentially stereotyping statements and several structure issues: 'it would definitely be yes' is informal and clumsy. Replace with 'I would say yes.' Use 'say whether' instead of 'tell if', add punctuation, and avoid generalizations like 'they're good at STEM' by qualifying. This corrects sentence structure and improves register.