Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clear, concise and use correct tense and vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + brief detail), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases (e.g. “fly by”, “conventional media”).

예시: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a small red bike when I was six, and I used it mainly to ride to school and visit friends. For example, I rode it every morning for about ten minutes, which helped me feel independent and active.

제안: Answer directly, then give clear reasons with logical linking words. Use appropriate vocabulary (e.g. “motorcycle”, “public transport”, “prefer”) and avoid unclear phrases. Provide specific examples or comparisons to support your opinion.

예시: Not really. Most people in my city prefer motorcycles or public transport because distances are long and traffic is heavy. For instance, commuters usually take a motorcycle taxi or a crowded bus rather than cycle to work, so bicycles are less common.

× Well as usual I fly by when I was young so my parents have bought for me a bike as a gift when I was 6.

✓ Well, as usual I flew around when I was young, so my parents bought me a bike as a gift when I was six.

The student mixed present tense 'fly' and present perfect 'have bought' with a past time reference 'when I was 6'. Use simple past for completed past actions: 'flew' and 'bought'. Also 'bought for me' is unnatural; use 'bought me a bike'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for past events and natural word order: 'my parents bought me a bike'.

× So I just use it for my like conventional, uh, media to go to school.

✓ So I just used it for my usual way to get to school.

The context is past, so 'use' should be 'used' (simple past). The phrase 'conventional, uh, media' is incorrect word choice and form; 'usual way' or 'usual means' is appropriate. 'To go to school' is better expressed as 'to get to school'. Suggestion: Replace awkward vocabulary with common collocations: 'used it as my usual way to get to school'.

× Well, not really because you know, my residence in my country is is like suffer tendency to go to work or like travel by their motorbike or maybe public transportation and they do not really hardworking, so they just do not use.

✓ Well, not really, because in my country people tend to travel to work by motorbike or public transportation, and they are not very willing to use bicycles.

The original has incorrect pronoun and noun phrase use: 'my residence in my country' is awkward; 'people' is the correct subject. 'Is like suffer tendency' is ungrammatical; use 'tend to' or 'have a tendency to'. 'They do not really hardworking' mixes adjective/adverb and lacks a verb; use 'are not very willing' or 'do not work hard' depending on meaning. Also 'they just do not use' needs an object: 'use bicycles'. Suggestion: Simplify the sentence with correct subjects and verbs: 'people tend to travel by motorbike or public transport, and they are not very willing to use bicycles'.