Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repeated words, use past tense consistently, give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Keep it concise (max 4–5 sentences). Mention when, who, what it looked like, and why it was memorable. For example, avoid filler sounds (“uh”) and repetitions.

예시: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was about ten. My father bought a small white child’s bike, and I often rode it with my brother and sister in the neighborhood. It was memorable because we spent many happy afternoons together and I learned to ride without training wheels.

제안: Organize the response with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons with linking words. Use correct grammar (singular/plural, verb forms) and avoid filler words. Provide one or two concrete reasons (cost, traffic, culture) to support your opinion.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Because we have a large population and many middle-class families, motorcycles are an affordable and efficient way to travel. In addition, heavy traffic and congested streets make bikes a practical choice for daily commuting.

× Yes, I have a bike uh, when I, I was around 10 year old, my father bought a bike that child bike I used to play with my brother and sister.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was around 10 years old. My father bought that child's bike, and I used to play with my brother and sister.

The student mixes present perfect 'have' with a past time reference; use simple past 'had'. '10 year old' needs plural 'years' and articles: 'a bike' -> 'that child's bike' to clarify possession. Also sentence run-on: split into two sentences and add conjunction 'and' before 'I used to'. Use simple past to describe past habitual actions ('used to play'). Suggestions: Use consistent past tense for past events, pluralize units (years), and separate clauses into clear sentences.

× It was very enjoyable moment that time and uh, that bike is uh forever memory for me uh, for lifetime memory and uh, the white colour.

✓ It was a very enjoyable moment at that time, and that bike is a forever memory for me; it was white in color.

Missing article 'a' before 'very enjoyable moment'. 'That time' is better expressed as 'at that time'. 'Forever memory' and 'lifetime memory' are awkward; use 'a lasting memory' or 'a memory for life'. 'The white colour' needs rephrasing to 'it was white in color' or 'it was white'. Suggestions: Use articles with singular nouns, prefer natural collocations like 'lasting memory', and restructure for clarity.

× Yes, like my country II has a huge population, so it is like, uh, very expand.

✓ Yes, my country has a huge population, so it is very densely populated.

The original has extraneous 'like' and 'II', and uses 'very expand' which is incorrect word choice and structure. 'Expand' is a verb; you need an adjective or passive adjectival phrase: 'densely populated' fits meaning. Suggestions: Remove filler words, avoid incorrect verb forms used as adjectives, and use precise vocabulary.

× There are a lot of middle class people and who has a dream to buy a bike or or maybe car also.

✓ There are a lot of middle-class people who have a dream of buying a bike or maybe a car.

Unnecessary 'and' before the relative clause and wrong verb agreement 'who has' should be 'who have' because the antecedent 'people' is plural. 'Dream to buy' is non-idiomatic; use 'dream of buying'. Add article 'a' before 'car'. Suggestions: Match pronoun/verb number with antecedent, use correct relative clause structure, and use idiomatic verb patterns ('dream of doing something').

× So yeah, I think people's are more popular in my country to buy a bike.

✓ So yeah, I think buying bikes is more popular in my country.

'People's are' is ungrammatical: 'people' is plural noun and does not take a possessive apostrophe here; 'are more popular' misuses 'popular'—people buy bikes, so the action or the product is popular. Recast the sentence to focus on the activity or item: 'buying bikes is more popular'. Suggestions: Avoid incorrect possessive forms, ensure subject and verb agree and that the adjective 'popular' describes the correct noun.