Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and limit to 3–4 short sentences. Also correct word choice (e.g. "joint", "collar") and tense consistency.

예시: Yes, I had a bicycle as a child. I received my first bike for my 12th birthday; it was pink with a white seat. I used to ride it around my neighborhood most evenings because it was a fun way to relax after school.

제안: Give a clear direct answer, then support with specific reasons and a linking word or two. Use correct expressions (e.g. "status symbol", "well-off families") and avoid repeating the same idea. Keep answers to 3–4 sentences and check grammar and word order.

예시: Not really; bicycles are less popular in Pakistan than in some other countries. For example, many well-off families prefer cars because they think cars are a status symbol. As a result, people often avoid riding bicycles to maintain their social image, especially in urban areas.

× Yes, I did have to buy one of the joint.

✓ Yes, I did have to buy one from the joint.

The student likely intended to say they bought the bike from a shop (the joint). The original sentence has a preposition error (use of 'of' is incorrect). Also 'did have to buy' suggests obligation; if they mean simple past purchase, 'I bought one from the joint' is clearer. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'from' or simply say 'I bought one'.

× I remember the first bicycle that I got was on my 12th birthday and it was pink and collar.

✓ I remember the first bicycle I got was on my 12th birthday, and it was pink in color.

The phrase 'pink and collar' is incorrect; 'color' was intended and needs the correct preposition 'in color' to describe the bicycle. Also omit the relative pronoun 'that' for natural speech. Ensure past tense 'got' is fine. Suggestion: say 'it was pink' or 'it was pink in color'.

× I still remember and I love to ride that bicycle in my neighborhood specially in the evening.

✓ I still remember it, and I loved riding that bicycle in my neighborhood, especially in the evenings.

The sentence mixes present and past time frames. Because the context is a childhood memory, use past tense: 'loved riding' and pluralize 'evening' to 'evenings' for habitual action. Also 'specially' is less natural than 'especially'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with 'remember' (present) but use past for the action: 'I still remember it, and I loved riding it in the neighborhood, especially in the evenings.'

× Well, bikes are not very popular in Pakistan as compared to other countries.

✓ Well, bikes are not very popular in Pakistan compared to other countries.

The phrase 'as compared to' is wordy and slightly awkward; 'compared to' is more natural. Tense is present and appropriate. Suggestion: use 'compared to' for smoother phrasing.

× The bikes over here are seen as status symbol.

✓ Bikes over here are seen as a status symbol.

Countable singular noun 'status symbol' needs the indefinite article 'a'. Also 'The bikes' is unnecessary; 'Bikes' is more general. Suggestion: use 'a status symbol' when referring to the concept.

× So to keep it from the welfare family, they prefer to own cars as compared to bikes.

✓ So to maintain a good image, wealthy families prefer to own cars rather than bikes.

Original has incorrect vocabulary ('welfare family' instead of 'wealthy families') and awkward structure. 'To keep it from' is incorrect. Also 'as compared to' is wordy. Suggestion: use 'wealthy families' and 'prefer...rather than' for clear comparison: 'wealthy families prefer cars to bikes.'

× So they avoid joining the bike to maintain their social image.

✓ So they avoid riding bikes to maintain their social image.

'Joining the bike' is incorrect verb choice. The correct verb is 'riding' when referring to using a bicycle. Also use plural 'bikes' for general statement. Suggestion: use 'avoid riding bikes' or 'avoid using bicycles.'

× And over here a person having a bike is seen as stigma.

✓ Here, a person who has a bike is seen as a stigma.

'Seen as stigma' needs the indefinite article 'a' before 'stigma' and a clearer clause: 'a person who has a bike.' Alternatively, better phrasing is 'having a bike is stigmatized.' Suggestion: rephrase to 'Here, a person who has a bike faces stigma' or 'Having a bike is stigmatized here.'