Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “really” used twice) and long, slightly awkward phrases like “grew up to become an adolescent.” Aim for natural phrasing and correct tense usage.

예시: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was very young. However, when I became a teenager my parents bought me one as a reward for good grades. I was thrilled because I had been asking for it for months, and I used it every weekend to ride around my neighborhood with friends.

제안: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion, then support with specific reasons and an example. Avoid filler sounds (“uh”) and incorrect phrases (“bike the bike,” “continental duty”). Use more precise vocabulary and correct word order when mentioning prices. If you express a hypothetical, keep it short and natural.

예시: Yes, motorcycles are very popular in India. For example, many riders prefer the Royal Enfield because of its classic design and strong engine, and it’s often seen on long-distance rides. A new model can cost around 300,000 rupees, so it’s considered a mid-to-high-range bike, which is why many people save up before buying one.

× OK, so when I was a child I remember I did not have a bike, but when I grew up to become an adolescent, my parents bought me a new bike.

✓ OK, so when I was a child I remember not having a bike, but when I became an adolescent my parents bought me a new one.

Use of 'I remember I did not have a bike' is wordy and unnatural; use 'I remember not having a bike' for past recollection (gerund after remember for past states). 'Grew up to become an adolescent' is awkward — use simple past 'became an adolescent'. Also replace repeated 'bike' with 'one' to avoid redundancy.

× And that was really quite exciting for me because I really asked them to buy me a bike and they bought it on one condition that I should get good grades.

✓ And that was really exciting for me because I had asked them to buy me a bike, and they bought it on the condition that I should get good grades.

Use past perfect 'had asked' to show the request occurred before they bought it. 'One condition' is acceptable but 'the condition' is more natural when referring to a specific condition already mentioned. Remove repeated 'really' for conciseness.

× Yes, definitely bikes are popular in India uh, it is the place where I live and the most popular bike is Royal Enfield uh continental duty.

✓ Yes, bikes are definitely popular in India; that is where I live, and the most popular bike is the Royal Enfield Continental GT.

Word order: place adverb should follow subject — 'bikes are definitely popular'. Use 'that is where I live' instead of 'it is the place where I live'. Proper nouns need correct articles and capitalization: 'the Royal Enfield Continental GT'. 'Continental duty' is incorrect model name; replace with correct model or 'Continental GT'.

× People love that bike a lot and it costs around rupees 3,00,000 and if I had the chance, I would definitely love to bike the bike.

✓ People love that bike a lot and it costs around 300,000 rupees, and if I had the chance I would definitely like to ride it.

Number formatting: '3,00,000' can be written '300,000 rupees' for clarity. 'Love to bike the bike' is ungrammatical — use 'like to ride it' or 'would definitely ride it'. Replace repeated 'the bike' with pronoun 'it'. 'Would definitely like to ride it' matches the conditional structure 'if I had the chance'.