Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two brief supporting details. Correct verb tenses (use past simple) and possessive forms, and avoid repetition. Use a linking word if adding a reason or detail.

예시: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. However, our neighbor owned one, so I used to borrow it and ride around the neighborhood after school.

제안: Give a direct general statement about popularity, then add one clear supporting example. Reduce hesitation and repetition, use linking words (for example, also) and correct phrasing (e.g. "we bought bikes for both of my daughters"). Keep it to two or three sentences.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, we bought bikes for both of my daughters when they were young — the first at age five and the second a year later — because many families encourage children to learn cycling early.

× When I was a child I didn't have any bike but our neighbor has it so I borrow his bike and ride on it.

✓ When I was a child I didn't have a bike, but our neighbor had one, so I borrowed his bike and rode it.

Multiple verbs refer to past time but are incorrectly in present tense or base form. 'Has' should be 'had' (past). 'Borrow' and 'ride' should be past forms 'borrowed' and 'rode'. Also 'any bike' is unnatural in affirmative past; 'a bike' is appropriate, and 'it' referring to the bike is better as 'one' in the first clause. Suggestion: keep all verbs in past tense for consistency when describing past events.

× Yes, bikes are popular in our country, just like for my two daughters, uh, my first daughter, when she was, uh, five years old, we already bought a bike for her and in, in my second daughter, we also bought a bike for, for her and it's.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in our country. For my two daughters: when my first daughter was five years old, we bought a bike for her, and for my second daughter we also bought a bike for her.

The original mixes present and past awkwardly and contains redundant fillers. 'We already bought' is acceptable but 'we bought' is clearer; maintain past tense when recounting events. The phrase 'in, in my second daughter' is incorrect; use 'for my second daughter'. Remove trailing 'and it's' which is incomplete. Suggestion: use clear sentence boundaries and consistent past tense for past events, and remove filler words.