Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 문장이 반복적이고 문법적 완성도가 떨어집니다. 주요 문장(토픽 문장)을 더 간결하게 말하고, 이유와 결과를 연결하는 접속사(so, therefore, eventually 등)를 사용하여 자연스럽게 이어주세요. 또한 마지막에 문장을 깔끔하게 마무리하세요. 예를 들어 중복된 표현('bike' 반복)을 줄이고 과거 경험을 구체적으로 묘사하면 좋습니다.

예시: Yes, I did. My father bought me a small bike when I was six so I could learn to ride. At first it was difficult because I kept falling, but I practiced every day and eventually I became confident riding on my own.

제안: 답변이 미완성이고 맥락이 불충분합니다. 먼저 직접적인 주제 문장으로 의견을 밝힌 뒤, 이유를 구체적으로 말하고 마지막에 결론을 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 'uh' 같은 말버릇을 줄이고 어휘를 정확히 사용하세요 ('utilize' 대신 'use'가 더 자연스럽습니다).

예시: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country. Most people prefer public transport such as the subway or taxis because cities are crowded and cycling lanes are limited, so riding a bike is not very convenient for daily commuting.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child because my dad bought me a bike to practice riding a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child because my dad bought me one so I could practice riding.

The original sentence repeats 'a bike' unnecessarily and uses an awkward infinitive phrase. Use 'one' to avoid repetition and change 'to practice riding a bike' to 'so I could practice riding' to make the purpose clear and natural in past tense. Suggestion: replace repeated nouns with pronouns and use a clear past-tense purpose clause (so + could + base verb).

× So it was very hard for me first, but I practiced every day so.

✓ At first it was very hard for me, but I practiced every day.

The original has awkward word order and an unnecessary trailing 'so'. Move 'At first' to the beginning for natural English, remove the extra 'so', and keep past tense 'was' and 'practiced'. This corrects sentence flow and redundancy. Suggestion: avoid ending sentences with filler words and place time expressions ('at first') in a natural position."},{