Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve clarity and grammar, shorten redundancy, and add one clear supporting detail. Begin with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No and brief context), then give a reason and one specific example. Use correct verb forms and avoid repeated phrases.

예시: Yes, I did. My mother bought me a bicycle when I was about seven, but I rarely rode it because I was afraid of falling. For example, I only used it a few times when my cousins patiently taught me in our driveway, so it ended up staying in the garage most of the time.

제안: Organize answer with a clear topic sentence and two specific reasons, avoid filler words and repetition, and use appropriate vocabulary (motorbikes, delivery drivers, transportation). Include linking words to connect ideas and one concrete example or statistic if possible.

예시: Absolutely. Motorbikes are extremely popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For instance, many young people use them to commute to work or to make deliveries, and recently a growing motorbike culture—including blogs and events—has made riding more fashionable.

× Oh yes, my mother bought a bicycle for me when I was a child, about 7 years old, but I was too scared of falling so I rarely used it.

✓ Oh yes, my mother bought a bicycle for me when I was a child, when I was about seven years old, but I was too scared of falling, so I rarely used it.

The sentence mostly uses past tense correctly but has awkward phrase order and punctuation. 'About 7 years old' should be 'when I was about seven years old' to form a complete clause. Also add a comma before 'so' to join two independent clauses. Write numbers under ten in words for formality. Suggestion: Reorder time expression to follow 'when' and add appropriate comma punctuation.

× It stayed in the garage most of the time and I was used and it was used a few times when I was with my cousins who taught the same.

✓ It stayed in the garage most of the time and was used only a few times when I was with my cousins who had one too.

Original sentence contains unclear and ungrammatical phrases: 'I was used and it was used' is incorrect and redundant. Also 'taught the same' is wrong word choice. Correct structure: use passive 'was used' once and clarify 'cousins who had one too'. Use 'had one too' to indicate cousins also possessed bikes. Keep tense consistent (past simple). Suggestion: Remove redundant subject and correct word choice ('had one too').

× Entry Absolutely.

✓ Absolutely.

'Entry' is an extraneous word here and breaks sentence structure. The single word 'Absolutely' correctly and succinctly answers the question. Suggestion: Remove unintended words to keep responses concise.

× Many young people use motorbikes for community community to uh, communicating or work as delivery writers.

✓ Many young people use motorbikes to get around the community, to communicate, or to work as delivery riders.

Original has repetitions ('community community'), filler words ('uh'), wrong verb forms and a wrong noun ('delivery writers' should be 'delivery riders'). Also 'use motorbikes for community to communicating' is ungrammatical. Correct to parallel infinitive phrases 'to get around', 'to communicate', 'to work as'. Suggestion: Use parallel structure for list items and choose correct nouns ('riders').

× There is a also growing motorbikes culture and blogging community which makes exciting even more fashionable.

✓ There is also a growing motorbike culture and blogging community, which makes riding even more fashionable and exciting.

Errors include unnecessary article 'a' before 'also', incorrect pluralization 'motorbikes culture' (should be 'motorbike culture' or 'motorbike-culture'), and awkward clause order 'which makes exciting even more fashionable.' Recast clause to 'which makes riding even more fashionable and exciting.' Added comma before the non-restrictive clause. Suggestion: Remove extra articles, use correct noun forms, and reorder the clause for clarity.