Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and finish your answer. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (ums, well, uh) and repetition. Also complete the final thought (when your first bike was given) to make the response coherent.

예시: I didn't have a bike when I was a child. However, I really wanted one and asked my parents when I was in primary school, but they couldn't afford it at the time. Later, when I was about twelve, a relative gave me my first bike, which I used to cycle to school every day.

제안: Give a direct opening sentence and then support it with specific reasons and an example. Reduce hesitation and vague phrases ("like other ways of transportation"); instead name alternatives (cars, buses, motorcycles). Use linking words (however, because, for example) to make your points coherent.

예시: I think bikes are less popular in my country now than before. This is because more people own cars and motorcycles, and public buses have also improved, so cycling is less convenient for long distances. For example, my neighbours used to cycle to work, but now most of them drive or take the bus because it is faster.

× I actually wanted to have a have a bike.

✓ I actually wanted to have a bike.

This sentence contains an accidental repetition of 'have a' which is a sentence structure error (Grammar Problem Type ID 26). Remove the extra words to form a correct, concise sentence: 'I actually wanted to have a bike.' Ensure you read aloud or proofread to catch repeated words.

× Umm, my first bike was given to me when I was in.

✓ Umm, my first bike was given to me when I was in primary school.

The original is a sentence fragment missing a complete time phrase; it ends abruptly and lacks a clear complement (Grammar Problem Type ID 23). Add the missing noun phrase (primary school) to complete the thought and match the earlier context. Always ensure clauses are completed with required complements.

× they're not as popular as before anymore, uh, because transportation, like other ways of transportation have been introduced to people.

✓ They're not as popular as before because other modes of transportation have been introduced.

The phrase 'as popular as before anymore' is redundant and awkward; 'anymore' conflicts with 'as before.' This is an incorrect adverb placement/wordiness issue (Grammar Problem Type ID 20). Also 'ways of transportation' is wordy; 'modes of transportation' is more natural, and the extra comma is unnecessary. Use one clear comparative structure: 'not as popular as before' and prefer concise nouns: 'modes of transportation.'

× So a lot of people prefer faster, quicker, uh, ways of going to different places.

✓ So a lot of people prefer faster ways of getting to different places.

Using both 'faster' and 'quicker' together is redundant; this is an incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs (Grammar Problem Type ID 13). Choose one adjective and use a natural verb phrase: 'ways of getting to different places' or simply 'faster ways to get around.' Remove fillers and duplicate adjectives for clarity.

× Well, umm, bikes used to be very popular in my country in the past, but they're not as popular as before anymore, uh, because transportation, like other ways of transportation have been introduced to people.

✓ Well, bikes used to be very popular in my country in the past, but they are not as popular now because other modes of transportation have been introduced.

The sentence mixes past ('used to be') with present contraction 'they're' and the adverb 'anymore,' causing awkward tense consistency (Grammar Problem Type ID 5 and 6). Use 'they are not as popular now' to clearly contrast past and present. Also simplify 'like other ways of transportation' to 'other modes of transportation.' Ensure tense and time expressions align (past reference with 'used to', present contrast with 'now').