Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and simplify your opening sentence, correct grammar, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus 1–2 supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas and give specific details (age, where you rode, how it made you feel). Avoid irrelevant or incorrect phrases like “when I was charged.”

예시: Yes. My parents gave me a bright red bicycle for my eighth birthday. I rode it to the nearby park with my friends almost every day, which made me feel independent and helped me stay active for a couple of years.

제안: Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. “bikes” not “bugs”), simplify sentence structures, and give specific examples of who uses bikes and why. Use linking words (for example, because, so, and) and avoid vague or fragmented phrases. Mention purposes (commuting, shopping, exercise) and a brief comparison or trend if possible.

예시: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many people use them to commute to work or school because they are cheap and convenient, and others ride for exercise. Recently more people are cycling to stay healthy and to avoid traffic.

× I thought I did have a bicycle when I was charged.

✓ I think I had a bicycle when I was a child.

Original sentence has incorrect verb choice 'thought' and 'was charged' (likely meant 'child'), causing meaning confusion. Use 'think' or 'remember' for recollection; use simple past 'had' for possession in the past. Replace 'charged' with 'a child'. Suggestion: say 'I think I had a bicycle when I was a child.'

× It was a bright one my parents brought me on my 8th birthday.

✓ It was a bright one that my parents brought me on my eighth birthday.

Missing relative pronoun 'that' or 'which' after 'one' to link clauses. Also write 'eighth' in words for formality. Suggestion: insert 'that' to form a correct relative clause: 'It was a bright one that my parents brought me on my eighth birthday.'

× I enjoyed riding it for nearby parks with my friends because they gave me a sense of independence and have a fun two years stay active.

✓ I enjoyed riding it to nearby parks with my friends because it gave me a sense of independence and kept me active and having fun for about two years.

Multiple problems: preposition 'for' is wrong before 'nearby parks' (use 'to'), pronoun reference 'they' incorrectly refers to friends instead of the bicycle or activity, verb tense/agreement 'have a fun two years stay active' is ungrammatical. Use past tense 'gave' and 'kept' to match past timeframe; restructure to 'kept me active and having fun for about two years.' Suggestion: use clear subjects and correct prepositions and past tense verbs.

× Yes definitely bugs are popular in my country because I come from the Asian country where the most of people use bicycle like for go to the work and coming from work and move from the children's.

✓ Yes, definitely bikes are popular in my country because I come from an Asian country where most people use bicycles to go to work and to come home, and children also ride them.

Several issues: 'bugs' is a wrong word (should be 'bikes'), missing commas, incorrect article usage 'the Asian country' (use 'an Asian country'), 'the most of people' should be 'most people', 'use bicycle' needs plural 'bicycles' and infinitive 'to go', awkward 'coming from work' -> 'to come home', and 'move from the children's' is meaningless; intended 'children also ride them'. Correct pronouns and nouns and use infinitives for purpose. Suggestion: use 'most people use bicycles to go to work and come home, and children also ride them.'

× Nowadays also you bike for their to maintain their health well.

✓ Nowadays people also ride bikes to maintain their health.

Problems: pronoun 'you' is informal and ambiguous; 'bike for their to maintain their health well' is ungrammatical. Use 'people' or 'many people', 'ride bikes' as verb phrase, 'to maintain their health' for purpose, and omit redundant 'well'. Suggestion: say 'Nowadays people also ride bikes to maintain their health.'