Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and direct with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetition, and add a brief specific supporting detail using a linking word. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., "as when I was a kid" -> "when I was a kid").

예시: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. Although my dad suggested buying one, I wasn't interested because I found cycling difficult and a bit frightening at the time. Therefore, I never learned to ride.

제안: Start with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific, linked reasons or examples. Avoid vague phrases like "I think so" and be careful with overgeneralisation. Use linking words (for example, "because", "for instance").

예시: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in Italy. Because many Italian city centres are compact and have narrow streets, people often prefer cycling for short journeys; for instance, in Bologna many residents use bikes to commute to work or university.

× I didn't own a bike as a child and I never really thought of owning one in my life, honestly.

✓ I didn't own a bike as a child and I never really thought of owning one in my life.

The sentence uses past tense correctly, but 'honestly' at the end is colloquial and unnecessary; removing it tightens the sentence. No major tense changes needed, just a stylistic improvement.

× Uh, my dad wanted me to buy one, but I wasn't really interested in that because, uh, it's something that is challenging.

✓ My dad wanted me to buy one, but I wasn't really interested because it seemed challenging.

The original mixes present 'it's' with past context causing awkward tense/structure. Changing 'it's something that is challenging' to 'it seemed challenging' keeps past perspective and produces a clearer sentence.

× At the same time it's gonna make me feel uncomfortable.

✓ At the same time it was going to make me feel uncomfortable.

The sentence refers to a past situation, so the future-in-the-past form 'was going to' is appropriate; 'gonna' is informal and should be avoided in formal speech.

× So I definitely didn't own one as when I was a kid.

✓ So I definitely didn't own one when I was a kid.

The phrase 'as when' is ungrammatical; use 'when' alone to indicate the time reference. This corrects sentence structure and improves clarity.

× I mean, Italy is a country that doesn't really use a lot of cars because it was built differently compared to a country like the United States.

✓ I mean, Italy is a country where people don't rely on cars as much because many cities were built differently compared to a country like the United States.

The original 'doesn't really use a lot of cars' is awkward; rephrasing to 'people don't rely on cars as much' is more natural. Also 'it was built differently' is vague; specifying 'many cities were built differently' clarifies reference and keeps tense consistent.

× Therefore, we use bikes, especially in big cities.

✓ Therefore, people use bikes, especially in big cities.

Using 'we' implies the speaker only; 'people' is more general and appropriate when describing common practice. Present simple 'use' is correct for habitual action.

× I believe that Bologna is a whole city where you can use a lot of bikes.

✓ I believe that Bologna is a city where you can use bikes a lot.

The phrase 'is a whole city where you can use a lot of bikes' is awkward. Reordering to 'a city where you can use bikes a lot' is more natural. Alternatively, 'Bologna is a city where many people use bikes' would be even clearer.