Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words (uh), and give concise supporting details (who gave the bike, how you used it, a brief memory). Keep it to a maximum of 3–4 short sentences and use linking words (for example, because, so) if needed.

예시: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. My father and brother helped me choose it, and my sister and I used to ride it together around our neighborhood. I remember practicing in the alley behind our house until I felt confident riding on the street.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Provide one clear reason with specific supporting details and a linking phrase (for example, because, for instance). Use more precise vocabulary (commuters, families, cyclists) and limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short commutes and exercise. For example, when I walk in the morning I often see commuters and families cycling together to work or school.

× Yes, I uh, had one.

✓ Yes, I had one.

Redundant filler 'uh' does not affect grammar but can be removed for clarity. The sentence correctly uses past tense 'had' to match the question about childhood. Suggest speaking without fillers to be clearer.

× My brother, my father got me one.

✓ My brother and my father got me one.

The original uses a comma where a conjunction is needed to join two subjects. Use 'and' to connect 'my brother' and 'my father' to show both people gave the bike.

× I used to buy with my sister when I was a child.

✓ I used to ride with my sister when I was a child.

'Used to' should be followed by the base verb. 'Buy' is incorrect in context because riding, not buying, is intended. Replace 'buy' with 'ride' to match meaning and maintain correct verb form after 'used to'.

× We went outside their house and we uh, bought in our alley.

✓ We went outside their house and rode in our alley.

'Bought' is past tense of 'buy' and does not fit context; likely meant 'rode'. Also 'their' is unclear—if referring to a specific person's house, use 'their', but maintain consistent meaning. Replace 'bought' with 'rode' to convey cycling.

× Yes, I think they are popular in my country because, yes, I think they are popular in my country because, uh, when I go to, uh, when I go walking in the morning, I see a lot of people are uh, biking, uh, with their, uh, children, wife and husband.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are popular in my country because when I go for a walk in the morning, I see many people biking with their children and spouses.

The original repeats phrases and contains many fillers and some word-choice issues. Remove repetition and fillers, use 'bicycles' or 'bikes' consistently, 'go for a walk' is the correct idiom, and 'many' is a natural quantifier. Use 'spouses' or 'husbands and wives' rather than 'wife and husband' and place 'with their children and spouses' after 'biking' for clarity.