Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your response more coherent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unrelated or unclear phrases (e.g. “further my website in”) and grammatical errors. Use linking words like “because” or “so” to show reason and keep sentences short (maximum 5).

예시: Yes, I had a bike from about the age of five. I rode it every day in the park with my cousin, which helped me stay active and healthy because we often cycled for an hour. However, after we moved to different houses, I rode less frequently.

제안: Be direct and correct grammar. Begin with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific examples. Remove redundant words (e.g. “employees workers”) and use connectors like “for example” or “sometimes” for clarity. Keep vocabulary relevant (commute, weather) and limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, bikes are quite popular in Thailand. For example, many people commute to work and school by bike, especially in smaller towns. I also cycle to school sometimes when the weather is good because it is cheap and convenient.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was around 5 years old.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was around five years old.

Using 'did have' is unnecessary in a simple past affirmative sentence. Use the simple past 'had' to describe a past possession. Also spell out small numbers in formal speech: 'five' instead of '5'. Suggestion: Use simple past for past facts: 'I had a bike.'

× I rode my bike every day with my cousin in the park when we were together but now our house is spread.

✓ I rode my bike every day with my cousin in the park when we were together, but now our family lives apart.

The clause 'our house is spread' is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Lives apart' or 'are spread out' convey the intended meaning. Also add a comma before 'but' joining two independent clauses. Suggestion: Replace unclear phrase with 'our family lives apart' or 'we live far apart.'

× The bike helped me maintain my healthy lifestyles so I can further my website in.

✓ The bike helped me maintain a healthy lifestyle, and it also helped me focus on developing my website.

'Lifestyles' (plural) is incorrect when referring to one person's routine; use singular 'lifestyle.' The original sentence also mixes tenses and has an unclear ending 'further my website in.' Rephrase to clarify purpose and keep consistent past reference 'helped.' Suggestion: Use singular 'a healthy lifestyle' and rephrase the second part to show result or benefit: 'helped me focus on developing my website.'

× Bikes are quite popular in my country Thailand.

✓ Bikes are quite popular in my country, Thailand.

This sentence is mostly correct in tense, but it needs punctuation to set off the country name as an appositive. Including a comma improves clarity. Suggestion: Use commas around 'Thailand' when it renames 'my country.'

× I when I go to school I saw a lot of employees workers ride bike to their office for work and I also ride my bike to school sometimes when the weather is clear.

✓ When I went to school, I saw many employees riding bikes to their offices, and I also rode my bike to school sometimes when the weather was clear.

This sentence mixes present and past tense incorrectly ('when I go to school' with 'I saw'). For past habitual actions, use past tense throughout: 'When I went... I saw... riding... I also rode.' 'Employees workers' is redundant; choose one. Use plural 'bikes' and 'offices.' Use 'riding' after 'saw' to describe an ongoing action. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and remove redundancy: 'When I went to school, I saw many employees riding bikes to their offices.'