Bike— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify meaning and correct errors, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details, avoid redundancy and hesitations. For example, directly state whether you had a bike, give a brief reason, and add one clear memory or feeling. Use linking words (for example, so, but, however) to connect ideas. Keep it under 4 sentences.

예시: No, I didn't have my own bike as a child because my family couldn't afford one. Instead, I borrowed my younger sister's bike and followed her around the neighborhood, which I enjoyed a lot. I remember feeling excited when I finally managed to keep up with her on the small hills.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers (ums, ahs), and provide specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (because, however, for example) to make your response coherent. Mention evidence such as traffic patterns, public transport, or cultural preferences. Keep it concise (2–4 sentences).

예시: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because most people prefer cars for convenience. For example, long commutes and the availability of cheap cars mean roads are often congested, so cycling is less common except for leisure on weekends.

× I didn't have my own bike when I was a child because my family families couldn't fold the fold once.

✓ I didn't have my own bike when I was a child because my family couldn't afford to buy one.

The original sentence has several problems: repeated words ('families', 'fold the fold') and an incorrect verb phrase 'couldn't fold the fold once' which appears to attempt 'couldn't afford to buy one'. This is an incorrect use of pronouns/phrasing and vocabulary. Correction replaces the broken phrase with the appropriate expression 'couldn't afford to buy one'. Suggestion: use simple clear phrasing for inability to purchase, e.g., 'couldn't afford to buy one', and avoid repeating words. Keep the past tense consistent with 'didn't have'.

× Instead, I often sold my younger sister bites and followed her around the neighborhood, which are still a lot of fun.

✓ Instead, I often rode my younger sister's bike and followed her around the neighborhood, which was still a lot of fun.

The original contains wrong word choice 'sold' instead of 'rode' and 'bites' instead of 'bike', plus subject-verb agreement/tense mismatch in the relative clause 'which are still a lot of fun'. The activity happened in the past, so use past tense 'was' and correct noun/verb choices. Suggestion: choose the correct verbs and nouns ('rode a bike'), keep tense consistent (past), and ensure the relative clause matches singular noun ('which was').

× Nose umm, I think the rights are not popular in my countries because umm, car is more popular in our country.

✓ No, um, I think bikes are not very popular in my country because cars are more popular.

Multiple errors: 'Nose' should be 'No'; 'rights' is a wrong word, should be 'bikes'; 'countries' should be singular 'country'; 'car is' should be plural 'cars are' for general statements. This is incorrect use of pronouns/nouns and number agreement. Suggestion: use the correct nouns and match singular/plural consistently when speaking generally (use plural for general category: 'cars are more popular'). Keep filler words minimal.

× We often can see that there are traffic jams on the roads as uh, since that the number.

✓ We often see traffic jams on the roads because the number of cars has increased.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains incorrect connectors ('as uh, since that the number') and awkward word order. This is a sentence structure error. Correction provides a clear causal clause using 'because' and specifies 'the number of cars has increased' to complete the idea. Suggestion: state the cause clearly and finish the clause; avoid fillers and incomplete fragments.