Study— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and directly answer the question first (topic sentence). Then give one or two clear supporting details. Use correct tense and grammar, avoid repetition, and choose accurate words (e.g., "graduate", "college", "colleague" is incorrect here). Aim for 2–3 sentences, linking ideas with words like "and" or "so".

예시: I am currently a high-school student preparing for my final exams. After graduation, I plan to go to college to study and then look for a job in my chosen field.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the school and location. Use one supporting detail about the school (type, curriculum or atmosphere). Avoid filler words like "actually" and unnecessary hesitations. Use linking words like "and" or "but" for contrast.

예시: I study at an international high school in Egypt. It follows an international curriculum, which is challenging, but I enjoy the learning environment.

제안: Give a direct evaluation in one sentence, then briefly explain with 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "however", "because"). Avoid repeating negatives and streamline phrases for clarity.

예시: It has both strengths and weaknesses. For example, the teachers are very professional, but the school facilities and services are poor, which makes studying difficult sometimes.

제안: Answer directly with a concise topic sentence, then list 2–3 specific changes using clear vocabulary and linking words like "for example" or "also". Avoid exaggerated phrases like "service is 0" and filler sounds ("uh").

예시: Yes, I would like some improvements. For example, the school should provide more desks and better classroom boards, and install air conditioning to make the learning environment more comfortable.

제안: Begin with a clear plan statement (topic sentence). Use correct grammar for future intent ("I plan to..." or "I want to..."). Give specific steps and reasons in 1–2 supporting sentences, using linking words like "then" or "so". Avoid repeating words such as "actually" and be precise about locations and subjects.

예시: After finishing high school, I plan to do a foundation year in Italy and then apply to a university in Europe. I hope to study genetic engineering and eventually work in Europe in that field.

× Currently I'm a student studying at high school.

✓ Currently I'm a student studying at high school.

No grammatical change needed; sentence correctly uses present continuous to describe current status. Keep as is.

× I wish that I reached that level to be be a worker, but I'm a student that I had Marks and finals and I wish that I go to college and become an colleague person and then I find a job to work at.

✓ I wish that I could reach that level to get a job, but I'm currently a student preparing for exams and I hope to go to college, become a colleague in my field, and then find a job.

Multiple errors: incorrect tense and modal use ('wish that I reached' should be 'I wish that I could reach' or 'I hope to reach'), duplicated word 'be', incorrect relative clause and past tense 'I had Marks and finals' should be 'preparing for exams', incorrect modal 'I wish that I go' should be 'I hope to go' or 'I want to go', and awkward phrase 'become an colleague person' should be 'become a colleague in my field'. Suggestions: use 'wish' + past/modal construction for unreal/desired situations, use consistent present continuous for ongoing study, and simplify phrases to common collocations (get a job, go to college, prepare for exams).

× I study in high school at my country Egypt.

✓ I study at a high school in my country, Egypt.

Incorrect preposition order and missing article. Use 'at a high school' and 'in my country' with country name set off by a comma. Suggestion: 'study at a high school in my country, Egypt.'

× Sorry in my country Egypt and an International School that support or provide an **** system.

✓ Sorry, in my country, Egypt, I attend an international school that supports or provides a [system name].

Missing subject and verb; incorrect agreement 'support' should be 'supports' to agree with 'school' (third-person singular). Also punctuation and article usage need fixing. Suggestion: include subject 'I attend' and use singular verb 'supports'. Replace '****' with the actual system name.

× So it's very hard actually, but I like this place.

✓ So it's very hard actually, but I like this place.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; present tense 'it's' correctly describes current state. No change required.

× To be honest, it is not that good place, but it's actually like it's not, it's not that bad, but it's not that like high level school.

✓ To be honest, it is not that good a place; it's not that bad either, but it's not a high-level school.

Missing article before 'good place' and 'high-level school'. Redundant fillers ('actually like it's not') should be removed for clarity. Suggestion: use 'a' before singular countable nouns and simplify to 'not that bad either'.

× No, like it's a school that you kind of study, but we struggle at something like the the service is very bad, but the teachers there are very professional.

✓ It's a school where we study, but we struggle with some things, such as poor services; however, the teachers are very professional.

Awkward phrasing 'school that you kind of study' and incorrect preposition 'struggle at' should be 'struggle with'. Repetition 'the the' and run-on structure need fixing. Suggestion: use 'where' for relative clause, 'struggle with' plus examples, and separate contrasting ideas with a semicolon or conjunction.

× Yes, of course, of course I would love to, I need to change the service cause the service is 0 literally.

✓ Yes, of course I would love that; the service needs to change because it is literally zero.

Mixing 'would love to' with present need; better to say 'I would love that' or 'I would like to see changes'. Use 'needs to change' for passive situation. Avoid colloquial 'service is 0'—say 'very poor' or 'nonexistent'.

× Uh, we need to add more desks and uh, we need to add a small, small board that help the student vary.

✓ We need to add more desks, and we need to add a small board that helps the students a lot.

Verb agreement: 'that help the student' should be 'that helps the students' (singular/plural and third-person singular verb). Also 'vary' is incorrect word choice; likely 'a lot' or 'greatly' or 'very much'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and use correct adverbial phrase.

× It's very essential to us.

✓ It's essential for us.

'Very essential' is redundant; 'essential' already expresses necessity. Use 'essential for us' instead of 'to us' for typical collocation, though 'to us' is acceptable. Suggestion: simplify to 'It's essential for us.'

× In addition to I think the need to provide the students an air conditioner in the class.

✓ In addition, I think the school needs to provide the students with an air conditioner in the classroom.

Incorrect structure 'In addition to I think the need' should be 'In addition, I think the school needs to'. Missing preposition 'provide the students with'. Use 'classroom' or 'the classroom'. Suggestion: reorder sentence to subject + verb + object.

× Oh, that's an interesting question actually futures my future study plans is why when I finish high school, I need to study a foundation here in Italy do enter and Europe college and Europe actually in addition to I would love to work in Europe actually and study the majors of genetic engineering.

✓ Oh, that's an interesting question. My future study plan is that when I finish high school, I will study a foundation course here in Italy to enter a European university. In addition, I would like to work in Europe and study genetic engineering.

Many structural and tense errors: 'futures my future study plans is why' is ungrammatical; use 'My future study plan is'. 'I need to study a foundation' could be 'I will study a foundation course' (future intention). 'do enter and Europe college and Europe' is incorrect—use 'to enter a European university'. 'study the majors of genetic engineering' should be 'study genetic engineering'. Suggestions: break into sentences, use 'will' or 'would like' for future intentions, and use correct noun phrases ('foundation course', 'European university').