Headphones— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitation and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct minor grammar: say “they save me from distractions” and “I don’t want to hear.”

예시: Yes, I often use headphones because they help me concentrate. For example, they block out surrounding noise when I study or commute, so I can focus on tasks without interruptions.

제안: Give a direct, specific answer and avoid vague claims. Name the type (brand/model, over-ear/earbuds), explain one reason why you like them, and avoid filler words. Use linking words like because or since.

예시: I use over-ear headphones from a brand called Ideonic because they provide excellent noise cancellation and have comfortable padding for long study sessions.

제안: Be natural and more precise: start with a clear topic sentence and then give specific contexts and a reason. Fix grammar: “I rarely use” and “they keep me comfortable and focused.” Use a linking phrase such as “for example” or “for instance.”

예시: I rarely use headphones, but I put them on when I need to study or work. For instance, I wear them during online classes or when I’m writing reports because they block external noise and help me stay focused.

제안: Answer directly and finish the thought. Use a clear topic sentence and give a specific situation and reason. Avoid unnecessary words like “Hello” and correct wording: “in social gatherings” and “it’s important to engage with people.”

예시: I wouldn’t wear headphones at social gatherings because it’s important to talk to others. For example, at family dinners or parties I prefer to keep my headphones off so I can participate in conversations and notice what’s happening around me.

제안: Be more balanced and precise. Start with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific comparisons or reasons. Correct grammar (e.g., “earbuds might irritate the ears or damage the eardrum,” “headphones have less risk”). Avoid vague absolutes and filler.

예시: Generally, I find over-ear headphones comfortable because they distribute pressure evenly and don’t sit inside the ear canal. In contrast, earbuds can irritate the ear or cause soreness after long use, so I prefer headphones for long listening sessions.

× it saves me from a lot of distractions and the surrounding sounds that I don't want don't want to heard here so.

✓ it saves me from a lot of distractions and the surrounding sounds that I don't want to be heard here.

The verb 'heard' requires the passive infinitive 'to be heard' after 'want' when indicating that you do not want the sounds to be perceived. Use 'to be heard' (past participle with 'be') to form the passive meaning. Also remove the repeated phrase 'don't want'. Suggestion: say 'that I don't want to be heard' or better 'that I don't want to hear' depending on intended meaning.

× I use uh headphones that are that came from umm ideonic, and this is the best company to sell.

✓ I use headphones that came from Ideonic, and it is the best company selling them.

The phrase 'that are that came from' is ungrammatical: use either a defining clause 'that came from' or 'that are from'. 'To sell' is the infinitive but here a noun phrase needs a participle or adjective; 'selling them' or 'that sells them' is correct. Also capitalize proper noun 'Ideonic'. Suggestion: 'I use headphones that came from Ideonic, and it is the best company selling them.'

× I barely use headphones but uh, whenever I sit for some work or for study purpose, I just use them to concentrate on my work as they block the outside noise and keeps me comfortable and conscious about my work so.

✓ I rarely use headphones, but whenever I sit down to work or study, I use them to concentrate because they block outside noise and keep me comfortable and focused on my work.

Use 'rarely' instead of 'barely' for frequency. Use present simple consistently: 'use' not 'just use' is fine; after a plural subject 'they' the verb should be 'keep' not 'keeps' (subject-verb agreement). 'Conscious about my work' is awkward; 'focused on my work' is clearer. Also use 'sit down to work' or 'sit to work'. Suggestion: maintain consistent present simple and ensure subject-verb agreement ('they keep').

× I would not use headphones whenever I will be in any social gathering because being social is also important crucial instead of just sticking with your phone or screen and just not being engaging with the.

✓ I would not use headphones when I am at a social gathering because being social is also important, instead of just sticking to your phone or screen and not engaging with others.

Conditional/modal 'would' pairs with present or simple future context; avoid 'would' plus 'will'. Use 'when I am at' for the time clause. 'Important crucial' is redundant; choose one adjective. Use 'sticking to your phone' and 'engaging with others' to complete the idea. Suggestion: 'I would not use headphones when I am at a social gathering because being social is important.'

× Yes, wearing headphones is more comfortable than anything else, like using for example, some people use earbuds that are might irritate ears or might damage the eardrum.

✓ Yes, wearing headphones is more comfortable than many alternatives. For example, some people use earbuds that might irritate the ears or damage the eardrum.

Pronoun/article issues: 'might irritate ears' needs the article 'the' before 'ears'. Remove extra words 'are' and 'using for example' should be rephrased. 'Damage the eardrum' is fine but 'the eardrum' refers better with 'the'. Suggestion: 'For example, some people use earbuds that might irritate the ears or damage the eardrum.'

× But headphones has nothing to do with them. They they are just uh, doing their job to.

✓ But headphones have nothing to do with that. They are just doing their job.

'Headphones' is plural, so use 'have' not 'has' (subject-verb agreement). 'Them' is vague; use 'that' or 'those issues'. Remove duplicated 'they' and the trailing 'to'. Suggestion: 'But headphones have nothing to do with that. They are just doing their job.'