Headphones— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give one short reason. Use linking words if adding detail.

예시: Yes, I sometimes use headphones, but not often. I prefer listening to music aloud at home because I enjoy the full room sound and it feels more natural.

제안: Give a single clear topic sentence naming the type, then add two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid starting multiple sentences with "Because."

예시: I use cabled earphones rather than AirPods. They feel nostalgic and, moreover, the cable makes them harder to lose compared with tiny wireless buds.

제안: Begin with a clear statement and link reasons smoothly. Combine short fragments into full sentences and use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

예시: I usually wear headphones when I walk or jog in the park because they are lightweight and pocket-friendly, so they are convenient for exercise.

제안: State the condition clearly and give a specific reason. Use linking words to explain the consequence and avoid repeating words or leaving sentences unfinished.

예시: I wouldn't use headphones when I need to stay alert to my surroundings, for example while crossing busy streets, because they can distract me and make it harder to hear traffic.

제안: Start with a direct answer, then explain briefly with a cause and contrast using linking words like "but" or "however." Be specific about when comfort improves.

예시: Sometimes they feel uncomfortable at first because your ears need to adjust, but after a few uses they usually become comfortable and fit naturally.

× Yes, but not usually because.

✓ Yes, but not usually.

The sentence fragment 'because' creates an incomplete sentence. Remove 'because' to form a complete, clear response. If you want to explain, add a full clause after 'because' (e.g., 'because I prefer not to').

× I prefer I prefer listening music not with the headphone.

✓ I prefer listening to music without headphones.

Repeated phrase 'I prefer' is redundant and 'listening music' lacks the preposition 'to'. 'The headphone' is incorrect; use plural 'headphones' or 'a headphone' depending on meaning, and 'without' is the correct preposition. Also use 'listen to music' structure.

× The cabled ones, the old umm earphones.

✓ The cabled ones, the old earphones.

'Umm' is a filler and should be removed in a corrected response. The article 'the' is acceptable before 'cabled ones'; ensure clarity by saying 'the old earphones' without fillers.

× Because I prefer that more than the Airpods.

✓ I prefer them more than AirPods.

Starting with 'Because' creates a fragment when not attached to a main clause. Also say 'them' (referring to earphones) and 'AirPods' is a brand name that does not require 'the' in this comparison.

× Because it gives a nostalgic feel and it serves as a purpose of you cannot easily misplace it.

✓ They give a nostalgic feel and are useful because you cannot easily misplace them.

Use plural 'they/them' to match 'earphones'. 'Serves as a purpose of' is unidiomatic; 'are useful because' is clearer. Avoid starting multiple sentences with 'Because' and ensure pronoun agreement.

× Because it has cables.

✓ They have cables.

Match plural noun 'earphones' with plural verb 'have' and pronoun 'they'. Also avoid starting with 'Because' as a sentence fragment.

× I use own.

✓ I use my own.

This is missing the possessive determiner 'my'. 'My own' clarifies ownership.

× I only use headphones when I am walking or jogging in the park.

✓ I only use headphones when I am walking or jogging in the park.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. 'Headphones' plural and present continuous 'am walking' are appropriate.

× I wear them because they are. Pocket friendly and lightweight.

✓ I wear them because they are pocket-friendly and lightweight.

The period after 'are' breaks the sentence into a fragment. Combine into one sentence and hyphenate 'pocket-friendly' as a compound adjective before a noun.

× I think in conditions that I need to be alert in my surrounding as using earphones will.

✓ I think when I need to be alert to my surroundings, I do not use earphones because they will

Original is a fragment and awkward. However further context is needed to complete 'will'. A better complete sentence: 'I think when I need to be alert to my surroundings, I do not use earphones because they can distract me.' Ensure 'surroundings' plural and correct preposition 'to'.

× Will disrupt my my focus and.

✓ they will disrupt my focus.

Duplicate 'my' must be removed. Start clause with a subject 'they' (earphones) and complete the sentence; remove trailing 'and' fragment.

× At first it was uncomfortable because it is a new sensation to your feeling or ears, but as you grow with them they are they will become comfortable in your ears.

✓ At first it was uncomfortable because it was a new sensation for my ears, but as you get used to them they will become comfortable.

Maintain consistent tense: 'at first it was' pairs with 'was a new sensation'. Use 'for my ears' rather than 'to your feeling or ears'. 'Grow with them' is unidiomatic; 'get used to them' is natural. Remove duplicate words and redundant phrases.