Headphones— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Remove filler words like “uh” and correct verb forms (e.g., “to listen”).

예시: Yes, I often use headphones. For example, I wear them to listen to music or watch videos, and I also use them when I need to concentrate on work because they block out distractions.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and add one specific detail about why you choose that type or brand. Use correct pronouns (e.g., “they” for earbuds) and avoid very short answers.

예시: I usually use wireless earbuds, and they are Beats. I prefer them because they fit comfortably and have good sound quality for both music and phone calls.

제안: Improve grammar and organization. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific situations using linking words (e.g., “for example,” “also”). Avoid incorrect word choices (earplugs vs. earbuds, health?).

예시: I use headphones when I need to concentrate or block out background noise. For example, I always put them on while studying or working on my computer, and I also wear them on noisy commutes to focus.

제안: This answer is clear but can be made more natural and concise. Start with a topic sentence and then give a short example to illustrate when you would remove them. Correct minor grammar (“when I need”).

예시: I wouldn’t wear headphones when I need to show respect or listen to someone, such as during conversations or meetings. For instance, I remove my earbuds in class or when someone is talking to me so I can hear them clearly.

제안: Organize into a clear topic sentence and one or two precise reasons, avoid fillers, and fix awkward phrases (e.g., “make your ear feel clear”). Use linking words like “but” and “however” correctly.

예시: Most of the time wearing headphones is comfortable, especially for short periods. However, they are uncomfortable when I try to sleep or relax because they can press on my ears and make it hard to breathe freely.

× I usually wear headphones when I need to uh listening to music or watching videos and when I need to concentrate on my work, I usually need headphones to to uh.

✓ I usually wear headphones when I need to listen to music or watch videos, and when I need to concentrate on my work, I usually need headphones.

The verb after 'need to' should be in base form, not -ing. Use 'listen' and 'watch' (base forms) after 'need to.' Also remove the repeated filler words and duplicate 'to' to make the sentence clear and grammatical. Suggestion: Practice using 'need to' + base verb (need to listen, need to work).

× I usually use wireless earbuds and its brand is Beats.

✓ I usually use wireless earbuds, and their brand is Beats.

The pronoun 'its' is singular and does not agree with the plural 'earbuds.' Use 'their' for plural nouns. Alternatively, rephrase: 'I usually use Beats wireless earbuds.'

× When I need to concentrate my work and block the background noise, I need my earplugs to work and usually when I was working I always wear health.

✓ When I need to concentrate on my work and block background noise, I use my earbuds, and usually when I am working I always wear headphones.

Use the preposition 'concentrate on' rather than 'concentrate my.' 'Background noise' does not need 'the' here. 'Earplugs' are different from 'earbuds'; context suggests 'earbuds' or 'headphones.' Also tense: use present 'I am working' or simple present 'I work' rather than past 'I was working.' Replace 'health' with 'headphones,' which was likely intended. Suggestion: Learn common verb+preposition pairs (concentrate on, listen to).

× I think in the circumstance that I need to respect the speaker or when I'm need to listen or get some information from the outside, I will not put on my earbuds.

✓ I think in circumstances when I need to show respect to the speaker or when I need to listen or get information from outside, I will not put on my earbuds.

Use plural 'circumstances' for general situations. 'I'm need' is incorrect; use 'I need.' Use 'show respect to' rather than 'respect the speaker' is acceptable but 'show respect to the speaker' is clearer. 'From the outside' is changed to 'from outside' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Avoid contractions with auxiliary verbs plus main verbs (don't say 'I'm need').

× Most of the time is, it makes me feel for, feel comfortable, but when you need to sleep or when you need to, uh, relax or when you need to make your air, uh, feel clear, that's not, that's uncomfortable.

✓ Most of the time it makes me feel comfortable, but when you need to sleep, relax, or make your airway feel clear, wearing headphones is uncomfortable.

Remove extraneous filler words and fix word order: 'Most of the time it makes me feel comfortable' is the correct present-tense statement. Use parallel verb forms 'sleep, relax, or make...' and clarify 'make your air feel clear' to 'make your airway feel clear' (or 'keep your airway clear'). Also explicitly state the subject 'wearing headphones is uncomfortable' to avoid ambiguity. Suggestion: Use parallel structure in lists and avoid filler words; ensure subject is explicit.