Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and use correct verb forms and articles. Use one or two supporting details with linking words. For example, remove 'so' and 'uh', change 'a lively songs' to 'lively songs' and combine sentences with 'however' or 'when'.

예시: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. For example, when I feel sad I usually listen to slow, sad songs to reflect on my feelings; however, when I feel happy I choose lively pop songs to celebrate.

제안: Correct grammar (verb agreement) and clarify meaning. Start with a direct answer, then give two concise reasons using linking words like 'because' and 'also'. Avoid repetition and ambiguous phrases like 'some things'.

예시: Yes, definitely. Happy music makes me feel more energetic because the upbeat rhythm lifts my mood, and I also listen to lively songs before competitions to reduce stress and boost confidence.

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct countable noun forms, remove repetition, and provide a brief future plan. Use linking words like 'because' and 'however' for coherence.

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes because my family couldn't afford them. However, if I have the opportunity in the future, I would like to take piano lessons to improve my musical skills.

제안: Be more concise and correct articles and verb forms. Start with a clear statement, then add two specific examples using linking words like 'for example' and 'also'. Remove fillers such as 'umm' and vague phrases like 'working something'.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For example, I play lively songs when I cook or shower to boost my energy, and I also listen to English songs while working to improve my language skills.

× Well, I would say it depends on my emotion.

✓ Well, I would say it depends on my emotions.

Use plural 'emotions' because 'my emotion' is unnatural in this context; general reference to one's feelings takes the plural form. Change improves naturalness and noun agreement.

× For example, when I feel really bad, so I will play uh, sad songs because it's suitable for my emotion.

✓ For example, when I feel really bad, I will play sad songs because they are suitable for my mood.

Remove redundant conjunction 'so' after the subordinate clause. Use plural 'songs' with plural pronoun 'they' and replace 'my emotion' with 'my mood' which is the natural collocation. Also 'are suitable' matches plural subject.

× But when I'm feeling very happy, I will play a lively songs.

✓ But when I'm feeling very happy, I will play lively songs.

'A' cannot be used with plural noun 'songs'. Remove the article 'a' to match the plural noun. Also 'lively songs' is the correct noun phrase.

× I think whenever I feel very excited, some things I always plays lively or happy songs to push my mood and also sometimes when I feel very stressed when I join the competition.

✓ I think whenever I feel very excited, I always play lively or happy songs to lift my mood, and sometimes I play them when I feel very stressed before a competition.

Use base form 'play' for first-person present; 'plays' is third-person singular and incorrect here. Rearranged for clarity: 'always play' and added 'them' to refer to songs. Replaced 'push my mood' with 'lift my mood' and 'when I join the competition' with 'before a competition' for naturalness.

× Honestly I haven't taken any music class before because my family didn't have enough money to afford for me afford any music class.

✓ Honestly, I haven't taken any music classes before because my family didn't have enough money to afford any classes for me.

Use plural 'music classes' with 'any'. Remove redundant 'for' and duplicate 'afford'. Place 'for me' at the end for natural word order. Also add comma after 'Honestly'.

× So yeah I mean in the future if I have more money I will definitely take a music class.

✓ So yeah, I mean in the future if I have more money, I will definitely take music classes.

Add commas for clarity. Use plural 'music classes' to match general intention. Sentence structure and future tense 'will take' are correct.

× Yes, very often when I cook or when I take shower I usually play a songs, umm especially lively songs to boost my energy and umm sometimes I also play English song to improve English while I'm like cooking or working something.

✓ Yes, very often when I cook or take a shower I usually play songs, especially lively ones to boost my energy, and sometimes I also play English songs to improve my English while I'm cooking or doing other work.

Use 'take a shower' with article 'a'. Remove 'a' before plural 'songs'. 'Lively ones' avoids repetition. Use plural 'English songs' and possessive 'my English'. Replace informal 'I'm like cooking or working something' with 'I'm cooking or doing other work' for grammatical clarity. Use gerund forms correctly.