Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitation; give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., "while when I'm happy" -> "while when I'm happy" should be "while when I'm happy I prefer upbeat songs"). Replace fillers like "umm" and finish your final thought. Aim for 3–4 fluent sentences.

예시: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. For example, when I'm feeling down I usually listen to acoustic, melancholic songs because they help me reflect. In contrast, when I'm happy I prefer upbeat, energetic tracks to keep my energy up.

제안: Expand slightly with a clear reason and avoid repetition and hesitations. Use linking words (e.g., "especially") correctly and finish the examples. Mention one concrete situation and explain the effect it has on you.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For instance, when I exercise it boosts my energy and helps me run faster, and when I revise for exams it keeps me motivated and focused.

제안: Give a concise direct answer and a clear reason without repetition or hesitation. Use one linking phrase to offer a brief explanation and, if relevant, a short supporting detail. Avoid repeating fragments like "in the in the in the."

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes and I don't plan to in the near future because music lessons aren't really my interest. Instead, I prefer learning informally by listening to songs and watching tutorials online.

제안: Finish your sentence and avoid repetition. Start with a topic sentence, then give one or two specific situations using linking words (e.g., "for example", "also") and explain briefly how music helps in each case.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks. For example, when I'm studying I play upbeat songs to stay motivated, and I also listen to mellow instrumental music while cooking to relax.

× Well, it depends on my mood.

✓ Well, it depends on my mood.

No correction needed; sentence correctly uses present simple to express a general truth about current preferences.

× Sometimes I want sad songs and sometimes I want happy songs.

✓ Sometimes I want sad songs, and sometimes I want happy songs.

Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' when joining two independent clauses for clarity. This is a punctuation improvement rather than a grammar category error, but it improves sentence flow.

× It is really based on my emotions at the moment.

✓ It is really based on my emotions at the moment.

Correct use of present simple 'is' to describe current state; no grammatical change needed.

× Umm when I'm sad I want acoustic and sad songs, while I'm when I'm happy I like hype songs and.

✓ When I'm sad, I want acoustic, sad songs, while when I'm happy I like hype songs.

Problems: misplaced 'while I'm when' is a word order/repetition error and sentence ends with an extra conjunction 'and'. Correction removes the repeated words and trailing conjunction, adds a comma after the subordinate clause, and uses parallel structure. This fits the present participle/structure category because the original had incorrect clause linking and participle placement errors.

× Yes, it makes me feel more excited.

✓ Yes, it makes me feel more excited.

Sentence correctly uses present simple; no change needed.

× It makes me more upbeat and energetic, especially when I, uh, exercise, when I, uh, review.

✓ It makes me more upbeat and energetic, especially when I exercise or when I review.

Replace the repeated filler 'uh' and duplicate 'when' with a clearer conjunction 'or'. Also remove unnecessary commas. This improves fluency and clarity; the article use was fine but the sentence contained redundancy and disfluency which have been corrected.

× No, I haven't taken any musical classes and I do not plan to attend to in the in the in the near future because it's not.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes, and I do not plan to attend any in the near future because it's not my thing.

Problems fixed: 'musical classes' is better as 'music classes'; remove repeated 'the' and incorrect 'attend to' (attend is transitive here: attend a class). Added 'any' after 'attend' and completed the clause 'not my thing'. This addresses incorrect verb+preposition use and article/repetition errors.

× It's just not my thing.

✓ It's just not my thing.

Correct as is; present simple contraction 'it's' appropriately states preference.

× Yes, I listen to music while doing other things like for example when I am studying I prefer listening to happy songs to make me feel motivated to study and also when when.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while doing other things; for example, when I am studying, I prefer listening to happy songs to help me feel motivated, and also when I'm doing other tasks.

Original had repetition 'when when', run-on structure, and awkward phrasing 'to make me feel motivated to study'. Fixes: add semicolon/comma for clause separation, change 'to make me feel motivated to study' to 'to help me feel motivated', and complete the final clause 'when I'm doing other tasks'. This addresses verb+gerund use and sentence structure errors.