Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your response more natural and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct grammatical errors, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two brief supporting reasons with specific vocabulary (e.g., ‘uplifting’, ‘motivating’).

예시: I prefer happy music. It usually feels uplifting and motivating, helping me stay positive during the day.

제안: Avoid repeating the same idea and correct word choice and sentence structure. Start with a direct answer, then give two concise, connected reasons using linking words like ‘because’ or ‘as’.

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because it’s usually faster and has bright melodies, which energize me and improve my mood.

제안: Good content and structure but refine tense consistency and phrasing. Use a clear topic sentence and a brief supporting detail with correct tense (present perfect + present).

예시: Yes. I have taken music classes since primary school, and I’m still an active member of a choir today.

제안: Clarify meaning and fix grammar and word choice. Remove the unclear word ‘January’ and avoid double expressions. Provide a clear direct answer and one concise reason, using linking words.

예시: Not usually. I prefer to listen to music on its own because focusing on it alone helps me appreciate the lyrics and instruments more.

× I prefer happy music because that was I think it's generally more enlightening and encouraging.

✓ I prefer happy music because I think it is generally more uplifting and encouraging.

The original sentence contains redundant and misplaced phrases ('that was I think it's') causing sentence structure problems. Remove the unnecessary fragment and use a clear subordinate clause: 'because I think it is...'. Use 'uplifting' instead of 'enlightening' for natural collocation with music. Ensure correct contraction expansion: 'it's' -> 'it is' for formality and clarity.

× Happy music does make me feel more excited because it's more fast-paced and it's more bright so it's more exciting.

✓ Happy music does make me feel more excited because it is faster-paced and brighter, so it feels more exciting.

Repeated 'it's more...' is stylistically weak and uses incorrect adjective forms: use comparative forms 'faster-paced' and 'brighter' rather than 'more fast-paced'/'more bright'. Also replace the final 'it's more exciting' with 'it feels more exciting' to avoid repetition and improve naturalness.

× Yes, I have been taking music classes since I was in primary school and I am a active member of a choir up until now.

✓ Yes, I have been taking music classes since I was in primary school, and I am an active member of a choir to this day.

Use 'an' before a noun starting with a vowel sound ('a active' -> 'an active'). 'Up until now' is awkward with 'am'; use 'to this day' or 'until now' for clarity. The present perfect continuous 'have been taking' is acceptable with 'since', so keep it.

× January I think I would like to listen to music separately than doing other things because I make listening to music alone makes me feel more indulged in the music itself.

✓ I think I prefer to listen to music separately from doing other things because listening alone makes me feel more absorbed in the music.

Remove the stray word 'January' which is out of context. Use 'prefer to listen to music separately from doing other things' (use preposition 'from' not 'than' after 'separately'). Also fix double-verb error 'I make listening... makes' to single correct clause 'listening alone makes me...'. Replace 'indulged in' with 'absorbed in' for natural collocation.