Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, correct grammar, and use a clear topic sentence with brief supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., 'most of the time' and 'usually' together) and fix verb forms (e.g., 'listen to music', 'listen to music when I'm traveling'). Add a linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: I usually prefer happy music because it helps me relax. For example, I often listen to upbeat songs while travelling and when I’m cleaning my room, which makes those activities more pleasant.

제안: Start with a direct answer, then give one or two clear reasons using linking words. Simplify and avoid redundant phrases (‘more relaxed and more excited’ can be phrased succinctly). Correct minor grammar (e.g., 'cleaning my room').

예시: Yes, it does. When I listen to upbeat music while travelling or doing chores, it lifts my mood and makes those tasks more enjoyable and energising.

제안: Give a direct short answer, then provide a clear reason and one supporting detail. Correct tense and verb forms (use 'haven't taken' or 'I didn't take'). Avoid repeating the same phrase and be specific about what prevents you from taking classes.

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes. I would like to, but I work long hours so I don’t have time for lessons; instead, I practise singing informally while listening to songs.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repeating 'that time' or 'as I mentioned'. Use linking words (for example, 'also' or 'in addition') and correct verb forms ('it helps me', 'I also listen to music'). Be specific about examples and effects.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while travelling because it helps me relax and enjoy the scenery. In addition, I play energetic songs when I’m doing chores, which makes cleaning more fun and faster.

× Most of the time I usually prefer happy music because when I listen to music I feel more relaxed.

✓ Most of the time I prefer happy music because when I listen to music I feel more relaxed.

Redundant adverbs 'Most of the time' and 'usually' both indicate frequency. Remove one ('usually') to avoid repetition and keep present simple for habitual actions.

× I prefer to listen music when I'm traveling.

✓ I prefer to listen to music when I'm traveling.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object. Use 'listen to music'.

× Apart from that, I also listen musical when I'm cleaning my room.

✓ Apart from that, I also listen to music when I'm cleaning my room.

'Listen' needs the preposition 'to' and the noun should be 'music' (not 'musical'). 'Musical' is an adjective or noun referring to a stage/music production, so use 'music'.

× Yes, when I usually listen to music like I'm traveling or doing chores like cleaning my rooms since upbeat songs make those activities more enjoyable and make my mood feel more relaxed and more excited.

✓ Yes, when I usually listen to music while I'm traveling or doing chores like cleaning my room, upbeat songs make those activities more enjoyable and make me feel more relaxed and excited.

Use 'while' instead of 'like' to introduce concurrent actions. Use singular 'room' to match context and avoid 'make my mood feel' which is unnatural; use 'make me feel'. Also avoid redundant 'more' before 'relaxed' and 'excited'.

× Actually, no, I didn't take any music classes.

✓ Actually, no, I haven't taken any music classes.

Use present perfect 'have not taken' to indicate experience up to now. 'Didn't take' (simple past) is acceptable if referring to a specific past time, but here the context asks about lifetime experience, so present perfect is better.

× Most of the time I sang during the beat or during the music.

✓ Most of the time I sing along to the beat or to the music.

Use present simple 'sing' for habitual action. Use 'sing along to' or 'sing along with' and 'music' is the correct noun. 'During the beat' is awkward; 'to the beat' is idiomatic.

× I haven't take any music classes because I am doing work so I don't have enough time to take music classes.

✓ I haven't taken any music classes because I am working, so I don't have enough time to take music classes.

After 'haven't' use past participle 'taken'. Also 'doing work' is better as 'working' and add a comma before 'so'.

× Yes, as I mentioned well whenever I do travel at that time I love to listen to music because it help me to feel more relaxed and enjoy the view.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned, whenever I travel I love to listen to music because it helps me feel more relaxed and enjoy the view.

Remove filler 'well'; place commas correctly. Use 'whenever I travel' (not 'do travel at that time'). 'Help' needs third-person singular 'helps' to agree with singular subject 'it'. Also 'helps me feel' is more natural than 'help me to feel'.

× Apart from that when I'm doing my home chores like cleaning my room, that time I also listen music because that time it makes that activity more enjoyable and energetic.

✓ Apart from that, when I'm doing chores like cleaning my room, I also listen to music because it makes the activity more enjoyable and energizing.

Use 'listen to music' with 'to'. Remove redundant phrases 'that time'. Use 'chores' or 'home chores' but avoid repetition. Use adjective 'energizing' rather than 'energetic' to describe the effect on the activity.