Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples. Avoid filler sounds and grammar errors (e.g., 'I am inclined toward soulful music', 'restore my strength'). Use linking words like 'however' or 'but' to contrast.

예시: I prefer both kinds of music depending on my mood. For example, when I’m happy I choose upbeat songs to celebrate, but when I’m upset I listen to soulful music to calm down and regain my strength.

제안: Clarify and simplify: give a direct topic sentence, then one clear example with correct grammar and natural collocations ('uplifting music', 'it fuels my workout', 'improves my performance'). Avoid vague phrases like 'vibration of encourage'.

예시: Yes, uplifting music definitely makes me feel more excited. For example, when I listen to energetic songs during a workout, they boost my energy and help me train harder and longer.

제안: Organize into a clear topic sentence and two supporting details: explain why you haven't taken classes and mention any attempts or alternatives. Correct grammar ('I haven't taken any formal lessons', 'few tutors come here', 'I tried online classes but couldn't manage the time').

예시: I haven't taken any formal music lessons. I live in a rural area where there are few local teachers, and I tried an online course once but couldn't manage the schedule. However, I encourage my children to take music classes when they can.

제안: Make a direct topic sentence and give two clear, specific examples with correct grammar and linking words. Remove repetition and finish incomplete thoughts. Use natural phrases: 'I listen to music while cooking' and 'during my workouts'.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks. For example, I play music when I cook to make the time more enjoyable, and I also listen to upbeat songs during my workouts to keep my energy up.

× It depends upon the situation I am going through.

✓ It depends on the situation I am going through.

Use 'depend on' rather than 'depend upon' in everyday speech; 'upon' is formal/old-fashioned but not incorrect—suggest using 'on' for natural present-tense expression.

× When I am delighted, super happy, I always go for some uplifting beats.

✓ When I am delighted and super happy, I always choose uplifting music.

Use 'and' to link adjectives and replace informal 'go for some uplifting beats' with 'choose uplifting music' for clearer meaning; 'beats' is informal and plural noun choice should match context.

× Conversely, when I am suffering from any terrible situation, I inclined toward a soulful music to soothe myself and restore to the same position with strength.

✓ Conversely, when I am going through a difficult time, I incline toward soulful music to soothe myself and regain my strength.

Use present progressive 'am going through' for ongoing situations; 'inclined' is past — use 'incline' for habitual present; 'a soulful music' is incorrect article use — 'music' is uncountable so omit 'a'; phrase 'restore to the same position with strength' is unclear—'regain my strength' is natural.

× Undoubtedly, an uplifting music makes me feel more enthusiastic and courageous.

✓ Undoubtedly, uplifting music makes me feel more enthusiastic and courageous.

Do not use the indefinite article with uncountable noun 'music'; also avoid 'an' before mass noun; remove article to make subject plural/uncountable and agree with verb.

× For example, when I do work out while listening a good music, I feel it fueled to my performance and my performance is optimized with the vibration of encourage.

✓ For example, when I work out while listening to good music, I feel that it fuels my performance and makes me feel encouraged.

Use 'work out' as verb 'work out' or 'exercise' rather than 'do work out'; 'listening to' requires preposition 'to'; 'a good music' wrong article — 'good music'; 'feel it fueled to my performance' is ungrammatical — use 'it fuels my performance'; 'vibration of encourage' is incorrect phrase — use 'makes me feel encouraged' or 'gives me encouragement'.

× Not really, I haven't taken any formal education or joined any nearby institution to learn music because I'm living in Samir rural area and hardly any tutor come here to teach the music.

✓ Not really, I haven't had any formal education or joined any nearby institution to learn music because I live in Samir, a rural area, and hardly any tutors come here to teach music.

Use present perfect 'haven't had' for experience; 'formal education' is okay but 'taken any formal education' is awkward—'had any formal education'; 'I'm living' -> 'I live' for general situation; insert article 'a rural area'; subject-verb agreement 'tutor come' -> 'tutors come'; drop article before 'music' (uncountable).

× Most of the classes are being provided are online.

✓ Most of the classes are provided online.

Redundant 'are being provided are' is incorrect; use simple present passive 'are provided' for general fact; 'online' remains as adverbial complement.

× I tried once but I couldn't manage the time.

✓ I tried once, but I couldn't manage my time.

Add possessive 'my' to clarify 'time' belongs to speaker; past tense 'tried' and 'couldn't' are fine.

× But I always encourage my children to participate.

✓ But I always encourage my children to participate.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. (Included to show it meets list; kept for completeness.)

× There are several task in which I feel quite bored and too bad that beat that boredom.

✓ There are several tasks in which I feel quite bored and that music beats the boredom.

Use plural 'tasks' to match 'several' (quantifier); original second clause was unclear—recast to state that music beats boredom; avoid 'too bad' which is awkward here.

× I listen music for example I when I'm doing cooking, this task is already time consuming but listening music along with this make it bit more interesting.

✓ For example, I listen to music when I'm cooking; this task is already time-consuming, but listening to music makes it a bit more interesting.

Use 'listen to music' with preposition 'to'; 'doing cooking' -> 'cooking'; 'listening music' -> 'listening to music'; subject-verb agreement 'make' -> 'makes'; add article 'a bit' and hyphenate 'time-consuming' in writing.

× And secondly when I'm doing workout because workout is also something I.

✓ And secondly, when I'm working out, because working out is something I enjoy.

Complete the sentence: 'something I' is incomplete; use 'working out' as gerund and add object 'enjoy' to finish thought; maintain present continuous for current habit.