Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms, plurals and pronouns (e.g., “songs,” “he always writes,” “listen to”). Avoid filler sounds and informal phrases like “kinda.”

예시: I like both happy and sad music, but if I had to choose I prefer sad songs because they calm me down and help me reflect. For example, my favorite singer often writes melancholic lyrics that make me feel peaceful and sometimes emotional.

제안: Be direct, use correct tense and concise linking. Avoid repetition and fix grammar ("plays such happy songs" → "played happy songs"; "made us feel excited"). Give one clear example and a brief explanation of why.

예시: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited. For example, at my school ball the DJ played upbeat songs which made everyone dance and feel energetic, so the atmosphere was lively.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and correct grammatical errors ("middle high school" → "middle school" or "high school", "must take him" → "had to take it"). Provide one or two specific details about what you did and use linking words for clarity.

예시: Yes, I took music classes in middle school because they were compulsory. In those classes I usually sang in a choir and sometimes played the piano and the recorder, which helped me learn basic music theory and teamwork.

제안: Use a clear structure: topic sentence + specific conditions. Correct verb patterns ("listen to music," "while listening"). Be concise and avoid vague phrases. Give one concrete example of when you do and do not listen.

예시: Yes, I sometimes listen to music while doing other things, such as painting, because it helps me relax. However, if I need to concentrate on fine details I do not listen to music, since it can be distracting.

× I quite like both happy and sad song, but if I have to choose I prefer to listen sad song.

✓ I quite like both happy and sad songs, but if I have to choose I prefer to listen to sad songs.

Plural noun and preposition needed: 'song' should be plural 'songs' because 'both' refers to two kinds; also after 'listen' the preposition 'to' is required. Use 'sad songs' to match 'happy and sad songs'.

× My favorite singer he he always wrote kinda sad song and it makes me calm and sometimes emotional.

✓ My favorite singer always writes kind of sad songs and they make me feel calm and sometimes emotional.

Redundant pronoun 'he' is incorrect; verb tense and subject-verb agreement: use present simple 'writes' for a habitual action (3rd person singular). 'Kinda' is informal; use 'kind of'. 'Song' should be plural 'songs' to match general statement; 'it makes me' should be 'they make me feel' to agree in number and use appropriate verb 'feel'.

× When I go to the school ball this year, the DJ plays such a happy songs and it made our feelings more exciting and happy.

✓ When I went to the school ball this year, the DJ played such happy songs and they made us feel more excited and happy.

Tense consistency: 'this year' with a past event requires past tense 'went' and 'played'. 'Such a happy songs' is incorrect: remove 'a' and use plural 'songs'. 'It made our feelings more exciting' is awkward; use 'they made us feel more excited'.

× For example I like painting while listen music, but it depends on the situation if I have.

✓ For example, I like painting while listening to music, but it depends on the situation.

After 'while' use verb+ -ing form: 'listening'. Also 'listen music' needs preposition 'to' -> 'listening to music'. The clause 'if I have' is incomplete and unnecessary, so remove it for clarity. Add comma after introductory phrase for natural flow.

× If I need to focus on my painting I don't listen, but I quite enjoy listen while do the other thing.

✓ If I need to focus on my painting I don't listen, but I quite enjoy listening while doing other things.

Use gerunds: 'listening' and 'doing' after 'enjoy' and 'while'. 'The other thing' is vague and uncountable here; use plural 'other things'. Add comma after subordinate clause if desired for clarity.

× Yes I have, it was when I was in middle high school but it was not optional so I must take him in the classroom.

✓ Yes I have; it was when I was in middle high school but it was not optional so I had to take it in the classroom.

Pronoun 'him' incorrectly refers to 'class' or 'course' — use 'it'. Modal and tense: 'must' is wrong for past obligation; use past 'had to'. 'Middle high school' is unnatural — consider 'middle school' or 'high school' depending on meaning. Use semicolon or period to separate clauses for clarity.