Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence (I prefer different music depending on my mood.), then give two brief, specific examples. Reduce hesitations and correct phrases like “it depends,” “uplifting music,” and “soulful music to soothe me.”

예시: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. For example, when I’m happy I usually listen to uplifting pop or jazz to keep my energy high, but when I’m upset I choose soulful, slow songs to calm down and reflect.

제안: Give a direct answer and use clearer linking words. Correct repetitions and verb forms (e.g., “uplifting music fuels my performance and I am able to exercise longer”). Provide one concise example with specific outcome.

예시: Yes, definitely. Uplifting music boosts my energy and motivation; for instance, when I exercise and start to feel tired, upbeat tracks help me keep going and extend my workout by 15–20 minutes.

제안: Structure your reply: give a clear topic sentence (No, I haven’t taken formal classes.), then explain reasons briefly and finish with a personal comment. Avoid redundancies and fix grammar: “there are hardly any classes,” “I took some online classes but couldn’t finish them.”

예시: No, I haven’t taken formal music classes. I live in a small city where there are hardly any tutors, and although I tried some online lessons, I couldn’t finish them because of my busy schedule. However, I encourage my children to take music lessons for formal training.

제안: Answer directly and use linking words to list situations. Correct grammar and word choices (“several situations,” “upbeat music,” “when I travel long distances I keep a playlist ready”). Be concise and give one specific detail per situation.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I play upbeat music when I cook to make it more enjoyable, and I keep a playlist for long journeys to stay entertained and relaxed.

× MMM it, it always depend upon the situation I'm going through.

✓ MMM, it always depends on the situation I'm going through.

Subject-verb agreement in present tense: 'it' (third person singular) requires the verb 'depend' to be 'depends'. Use 'depends on' rather than 'depend upon' for more natural modern usage. Suggestion: conjugate verbs to match the subject and prefer 'depends on' in spoken English.

× For example, if I'm having a very high mood, I always need an uplifting music, uh, for example jazz or pop music.

✓ For example, if I'm in a very high mood, I always need uplifting music, for example jazz or pop music.

Article and noun use: 'a very high mood' should be 'in a very high mood' (idiomatic) and 'an uplifting music' is incorrect because 'music' is uncountable and does not take 'an'. Also remove the repeated 'for example'. Suggestion: use 'in a very high mood' and 'uplifting music' (no article).

× Or if sometimes I'm going through a devastating period or terrible life situation, I inclined to word soulful music to soothe myself and give my me time.

✓ Or if I'm sometimes going through a devastating period or a terrible life situation, I am inclined to listen to soulful music to soothe myself and give myself time.

Pronoun and verb issues: missing auxiliary 'am' for 'inclined' and incorrect verb and noun forms. 'I inclined' should be 'I am inclined to listen to'. 'word soulful music' is wrong; likely 'to listen to soulful music'. 'give my me time' contains wrong pronoun order; use 'give myself time'. Suggestion: include proper auxiliary verbs and use reflexive pronoun 'myself', and use 'listen to' with 'music'.

× An uplifting mood can change my mood tremendously.

✓ Uplifting music can change my mood tremendously.

Word choice and redundancy: 'An uplifting mood can change my mood' is odd and redundant. The intended meaning is that uplifting music changes mood. Change 'An uplifting mood' to 'Uplifting music'. Suggestion: ensure the subject matches intended meaning and avoid repeating 'mood'.

× Uh, for example, when I am doing a particular exercise and I sometime I feel little bit exhausted, but when I play an uplifting music I feel it fuel the performance and I able to perform for longer duration.

✓ For example, when I am doing a particular exercise and sometimes I feel a little bit exhausted, when I play uplifting music I feel it fuels my performance and I am able to perform for a longer duration.

Multiple present tense and article errors: 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'; 'little bit' needs article 'a little bit'; 'an uplifting music' -> 'uplifting music'; subject-verb agreement: 'it fuel' should be 'it fuels'; missing auxiliary 'am' before 'able'; add 'my' before 'performance' and article 'a' before 'longer duration'. Suggestion: check adverbs, articles, and subject-verb agreement in present tense sentences.

× Not really. I am living in a small city so music classes are hardly uh possible here.

✓ Not really. I live in a small city, so music classes are hardly possible here.

Present tense usage: 'I am living' is grammatically correct but 'I live' is more natural for permanent situation. 'are hardly possible here' is awkward but acceptable; 'hardly available here' or 'are rarely available here' is better. Suggestion: use simple present for general facts and use 'rarely available' for clarity.

× Even there is no tutor who is providing music classes in our nearby area.

✓ There is no tutor providing music classes in our nearby area.

Use of 'there is' plus relative clause: 'who is providing' is wordy; 'tutor providing' is more natural. Also 'our nearby area' is awkward; consider 'nearby' or 'in our area'. Suggestion: simplify relative clauses and prefer 'in our area' or 'nearby'.

× Although I practiced music uh by taking some online classes but I couldn't complete due to my hectic schedule.

✓ Although I took some online music classes, I couldn't complete them due to my hectic schedule.

Tense and sentence structure: 'practiced music by taking some online classes' is wordy; use 'took some online music classes'. Also include object 'them' for 'complete'. Remove redundant 'although' plus 'but' (do not use both). Suggestion: avoid combining 'although' and 'but', keep past simple consistent and include necessary objects.

× But I always appreciate my kids uh to participate in music classes and to get some formal education.

✓ But I always encourage my kids to participate in music classes and to get some formal education.

Verb and collocation: 'appreciate my kids to participate' is incorrect; 'encourage' or 'support' is the correct verb to use with 'to participate'. 'Appreciate' does not take an infinitive in this meaning. Suggestion: use appropriate verbs like 'encourage' or 'support' when talking about helping others do something.

× There are several situation when I'm listening music while I'm performing particular task, for example, cooking sometimes make me feel bored and to umm, deal with that situation, I'll always love to listen and upbeating and enthusiastic music.

✓ There are several situations when I listen to music while I'm performing particular tasks. For example, cooking sometimes makes me feel bored, and to deal with that I always love to listen to upbeat and enthusiastic music.

Plural and article errors plus verb forms: 'situation' should be plural 'situations'; 'listening music' needs 'listen to'; 'performing particular task' -> 'performing particular tasks'; 'cooking sometimes make' -> 'cooking sometimes makes' (subject-verb agreement); 'to umm, deal with that situation' simplify to 'to deal with that'; 'I'll always love to listen and upbeating and enthusiastic music' corrected to 'I always love to listen to upbeat and enthusiastic music' (use 'upbeat' not 'upbeating'). Suggestion: check plural forms, verb-preposition combos ('listen to'), and subject-verb agreement.

× And secondly, when I'm traveling to uh, distance that will take longer duration that time I keep a playlist with.

✓ Secondly, when I'm traveling a long distance that will take a long time, I keep a playlist with me.

Preposition and article issues with tense: 'traveling to distance' is incorrect; use 'traveling a long distance'. 'That will take longer duration' -> 'that will take a long time'. 'I keep a playlist with' needs object 'me'. Suggestion: use idiomatic expressions 'a long distance' and 'a long time', and include object for 'with'.