Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid awkward phrasing and redundancy (e.g., “requiring to me to be more in tune to my emotions”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas.

예시: I prefer sad music because it helps me reflect on my feelings. For example, when I listen to a slow piano ballad I often think about recent events and understand my emotions better, which helps me make clearer decisions.

제안: Good structure and clarity. Tighten the response by avoiding repetition (e.g., “gives me energy” and “makes me feel joyful” overlap). Use one linking phrase like “especially when” and add a brief specific example to show range.

예시: Yes, happy or pop music usually makes me excited because of its upbeat tempo and catchy chorus. For instance, when I hear an energetic dance-pop song on my morning run, it lifts my mood and makes me run faster.

제안: Correct tense and phrasing issues and be concise. Start with a direct answer, then give a concrete detail about what you learned and why. Avoid pronoun-number mismatch and unclear clauses (e.g., “I did in fact used to” → “I used to”).

예시: Yes, I used to take guitar lessons for about two years. I was inspired by artists like Taylor Swift and learned basic chords and strumming patterns so I could play some of my favorite songs.

제안: Good answer but slightly wordy and some awkward phrasing (“that I can shut my brain off”). Begin with a brief topic sentence, then give one clear example of an activity and a reason. Use linking words like “when” or “because.”

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing repetitive tasks because it keeps me focused and relaxed. For example, I play mellow indie tracks when cleaning or doing data entry, which makes the work feel less tedious and helps me stay motivated.

× Personally, I prefer sad music as it sets the mood for me to introspect and evaluate certain things in my life that I find to be requiring to me to be more in tune to my emotions.

✓ Personally, I prefer sad music as it sets the mood for me to introspect and evaluate certain things in my life that I find require me to be more in tune with my emotions.

The phrase 'requiring to me to be' incorrectly mixes forms. After 'find' we need a verb phrase that agrees with the plural 'things' — here 'require' (base form) is correct. Also use 'in tune with' (correct preposition) rather than 'to be in tune to'. Suggestion: simplify complex phrasing and use 'require me to' or 'require me to be' and 'in tune with my emotions'.

× I define happy music as pop music, so in that regard I would say that yes, it does make me feel more excited.

✓ I define happy music as pop music, so in that regard I would say that yes, it does make me feel more excited.

No grammatical correction required for tense here; sentence is acceptable. (Included for completeness.)

× I did in fact used to take music classes before, specifically the guitar, as artists such as Taylor Swift inspired me to pick up the that instrument, especially when I see them playing such intricate chords that I want to imitate.

✓ I did in fact use to take music classes before, specifically the guitar, as artists such as Taylor Swift inspired me to pick up that instrument, especially when I saw her playing such intricate chords that I wanted to imitate.

'Used to' with 'did' should be 'use to' because 'did' already marks the past tense; 'used to' becomes base form 'use to'. Remove the extra 'the' before 'instrument'. Maintain consistent past tense when recounting past events: change 'see' to 'saw' and 'want' to 'wanted'. Also 'artists such as Taylor Swift' should match singular pronoun 'her' when referring back to Taylor Swift, or make plural consistently; here using 'her' clarifies the reference.

× Yes I do, especially when the task is a bit repetitive and that I can shut my brain off and my body tends to function on autopilot.

✓ Yes I do, especially when the task is a bit repetitive and I can shut my brain off and my body tends to function on autopilot.

The conjunction 'that' is unnecessary after 'and' and creates an ungrammatical clause. Removing 'that' yields a correct coordinated structure. No preposition error per se but the clause structure was incorrect; corrected to a fluent coordination.

× I like to have a song I can hum to playing in the background, setting the scene and the ambience.

✓ I like to have a song I can hum playing in the background, setting the scene and the ambience.

The phrase 'hum to playing' is awkward because 'hum to' and 'playing' clash. Better to say 'a song I can hum' or 'a song playing in the background.' Here 'a song I can hum playing in the background' combines both clearly. Also 'ambience' is a noun, which is fine; ensure word order keeps modifiers close to the nouns they modify.