Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is natural and relevant, but could be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repeating ideas, and give one specific example or reason with a linking word. Pay attention to small grammar slips (e.g. use a conjunction or a full stop rather than a comma splice).

예시: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood. For example, I often listen to upbeat R&B when I'm feeling down, since its lively rhythms help me relax and lift my spirits.

제안: Good direct response and clear reasons. To improve, combine sentences to avoid repetition and add a linking word to show cause and effect. Include a brief specific example of an activity you do when energized.

예시: Yes — happy music makes me feel energetic and more motivated. For instance, when I play upbeat songs before studying, my energy rises and I can focus better on completing my tasks.

제안: Content answers the question but has grammar and clarity issues. Begin with a clear short answer, then briefly explain with correct grammar and a linking word. Be specific about which classes you took instead and how that affected you. Fix pronoun errors and verb forms.

예시: No, I haven't taken music classes. When I was a child my parents thought music was less important, so they paid for math and English lessons instead, which meant I missed formal musical training.

제안: Your answer is relevant but slightly informal and contains small grammar mistakes. Start with a direct sentence, use a linking word to give two reasons, and avoid rhetorical questions. Be specific about which chores or types of work and the kind of music you choose.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing household chores because it boosts my energy and helps me concentrate. For example, I play upbeat pop when I clean and mellow instrumental tracks when I'm studying.

× No Growing up as a child, my parents felt that music classes would be a waste of time, so the prefers to pay for maths lesson, English and other subjects they considered more important for the growth of the child.

✓ No. Growing up, my parents felt that music classes would be a waste of time, so they preferred to pay for maths lessons, English, and other subjects they considered more important for my development.

The original contains multiple sentence structure and grammar problems: missing punctuation after 'No', incorrect subject 'the', wrong verb form 'prefers' (should be past tense 'preferred' to match 'felt'), singular 'lesson' should be plural 'lessons', awkward phrase 'for the growth of the child' should be 'for my development'. Suggestions: separate the initial negation with a period, use past tense consistently for past events, ensure pronouns match the speaker ('my' instead of 'the child'), and pluralize countable nouns when appropriate.

× I prefer listening to happy music, it lifts my soul.

✓ I prefer listening to happy music because it lifts my soul.

The original is a comma splice: two independent clauses joined only by a comma. Use a conjunction such as 'because' to show reason, or separate into two sentences. Also 'prefer listening to' is acceptable; the main fix is linking clauses correctly.

× Whenever I'm unhappy I listen to songs like R&B and this helps me a lot to relax and calm my nerves.

✓ Whenever I'm unhappy, I listen to songs like R&B; this helps me a lot to relax and calm my nerves.

Missing comma after the introductory clause 'Whenever I'm unhappy'. Also the sentence can be improved by proper punctuation: use a semicolon or period before 'this' when connecting two independent clauses. Keep verbs and phrasing as is but add punctuation for clarity.

× No Growing up as a child, my parents felt that music classes would be a waste of time, so the prefers to pay for maths lesson, English and other subjects they considered more important for the growth of the child.

✓ No. Growing up, my parents felt that music classes would be a waste of time, so they preferred to pay for maths lessons, English, and other subjects they considered more important for my development.

The word 'prefers' is third person singular present tense and does not match the past tense context; use 'preferred'. Also 'the' before 'prefers' is incorrect; it should be 'they'. Ensure tense consistency: past tense for past actions.

× No Growing up as a child, my parents felt that music classes would be a waste of time, so the prefers to pay for maths lesson, English and other subjects they considered more important for the growth of the child.

✓ No. Growing up, my parents felt that music classes would be a waste of time, so they preferred to pay for maths lessons, English, and other subjects they considered more important for my development.

Article and noun form errors: 'maths lesson' should be 'maths lessons' (plural) and 'the growth of the child' is awkward and unnecessarily definite; 'my development' is clearer. Use appropriate articles ('a'/'the') or possessive pronouns ('my') to match context.

× Yes, I listen to music while doing some house chores because it helps my energy level right? And it's also helps me to concentrate while working.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while doing some house chores because it boosts my energy levels, and it also helps me concentrate while working.

Problems: 'helps my energy level right?' is colloquial and includes a tag-like 'right?' that doesn't fit formal answer; better to say 'boosts my energy levels'. 'It's also helps' is incorrect because 'it's' (it is) plus 'helps' duplicates auxiliary; use 'it also helps' or 'it also helps me to concentrate'. Also pluralize 'levels' and remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me'. Suggestions: avoid colloquial tags, ensure subject-verb forms do not include extra auxiliaries, and use plural where appropriate.

× Whenever I listen to happy music, I feel my energy levels rise and I'm able to do whatever I've planned to do.

✓ Whenever I listen to happy music, I feel my energy levels rise and I'm able to do whatever I have planned to do.

Tense consistency: 'I've planned' is present perfect, which can be acceptable, but 'I have planned' written out is clearer; however the main issue is style rather than strict grammar. If referring to future or intended tasks, 'I have planned' is fine. Suggest using 'I have planned' fully and ensure consistency in contractions.

× Yes, happy music makes me feel excited and energetic. Most importantly, it makes me happy.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel excited and energetic; most importantly, it makes me happy.

Two related short sentences are acceptable, but combining them with a semicolon can improve flow. The original is not strictly wrong, but improving punctuation helps cohesion. Ensure connectors like 'most importantly' are followed by a comma.