Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference or that it varies. Reduce hesitation and filler words, use linking words to explain reasons (e.g., 'because', 'so'). Keep responses to 2–3 sentences with specific examples (when and why you choose each type).

예시: It depends on my mood. For example, when I'm stressed I prefer sad music because it helps me reflect and calm down, but when I'm celebrating I choose upbeat happy songs because they make me energetic and cheerful.

제안: Answer directly and give one specific supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., 'because' or 'so'). Avoid repetition and fillers. Use correct verb forms and natural collocations like 'makes me want to dance' and 'cheer me up'. Keep it to 2 sentences.

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythm makes me want to dance. For instance, when I hear pop songs at a party I immediately feel energized and more sociable.

제안: Give a clear, past-tense statement about your experience and one or two specific details (what you did, competitions, achievements). Use linking words like 'and' or 'so' to connect ideas, and avoid vague words like 'complicated'. Correct grammar: 'I was in the choir' or 'I took choir lessons'.

예시: Yes, I was in the school choir when I was a child. We often competed with other schools, and we usually won first place because we practiced every week and our teacher focused on harmony.

제안: Provide a concise answer naming activities and one clear reason linked by 'because' or 'so'. Use correct verb forms and complete the reason (e.g., 'reduce stress' or 'make chores more enjoyable'). Avoid repetition and fillers. Keep it to 2 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while cleaning or cooking because it relaxes me and makes these chores more enjoyable. For example, upbeat songs help me stay motivated when I'm tidying the house.

× It depends on my mind, my uh, when I'm uh, when I sometimes I like sad music, sometimes I like happy new music.

✓ It depends on my mood; sometimes I like sad music, and sometimes I like happy music.

The student used 'my mind' instead of the natural collocation 'my mood' and had extra pronoun 'my' and redundant phrases causing confusion. Suggest using 'depends on my mood' for clarity and concise coordination with 'sometimes... and sometimes...'.

× Uh, when I feel happy, I always like a happy uh and uh.

✓ When I feel happy, I always like happy music.

The original repeats 'happy' awkwardly and inserts an unnecessary article 'a' before an uncountable noun 'music'. Use 'happy music' (adjective + uncountable noun) and remove filler words for clarity.

× Yes, happy music always make me feel more excited ever.

✓ Yes, happy music always makes me feel more excited.

Subject 'happy music' is singular/uncountable, so the verb needs third person singular 'makes' (subject-verb agreement). Also 'ever' is unnecessary here; remove it for natural phrasing.

× I whenever I listen the happy music, I want to dance uh and uh, make me feel better.

✓ Whenever I listen to happy music, I want to dance, and it makes me feel better.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by its object. Also add 'it' as subject for 'makes' to form a complete clause and correct verb form 'makes' for subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I have been uh chorus when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I was in the chorus when I was a child.

The phrase 'have been chorus' is incorrect: 'be in the chorus' is the correct idiom, and because the time is specified ('when I was a child') the simple past 'was' is appropriate rather than present perfect.

× Umm, we have complicated, We have a lot of complicated, uh, with other, uh school, other school and we're always the uh, first one number.

✓ We competed with many other schools, and we were always number one.

The original misuses 'complicated' instead of 'competed' or 'competitions' and has disordered phrases. Use 'competed with many other schools' and 'we were always number one' to convey intended meaning with correct verb choice and sentence structure.

× Yes, when I clean the house, when I cooking, I always listen to music they will make make me feel, they will relax me and uh umm and reduce my.

✓ Yes, when I clean the house or when I'm cooking, I always listen to music; it relaxes me and makes me feel better.

Use 'when I'm cooking' (present continuous) or 'when I cook' (simple present) rather than 'when I cooking'. Also 'listen to music' requires 'to'. Replace 'they will' with 'it' or 'music' as singular noun 'music' takes singular verb 'relaxes' and add 'makes me feel better' to complete the thought. Remove repeated words and unfinished phrase 'reduce my'.