Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: state your preference clearly, give one specific reason with a linking word, and avoid redundancy. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g. "evoke" instead of "sending") and correct collocations ("feelings" instead of "they have deeper meaning sending").

예시: I prefer sad music because it often evokes deeper emotions and tells a meaningful story. For example, a melancholic song can remind me of past experiences and help me reflect, which I find comforting.

제안: Organize into one clear topic sentence plus one specific example. Remove fillers (umm) and fix grammar ("casts that kind of rhythm" → "has a lively rhythm"). Use linking phrase like "For example" to connect the reason and the example. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes. Happy music has a lively rhythm and upbeat melodies that lift my mood and energize me. For example, I often listen to lighthearted pop songs at breakfast to feel more awake and ready for the day.

제안: Answer directly and then give one clear reason. Correct grammar and vocabulary ("play an instrument" not "play music that particular instrument on"). Avoid trailing off; finish your sentence. Use linking word "because" to connect reason and example.

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I would like to. Because if you can play an instrument, you can create your own songs and perform your favorite tracks, which sounds fun and rewarding.

제안: Be concise and avoid repeated words ("like" used twice). Use a clear topic sentence and one specific effect with an example. Replace vague phrases ("do things more actively") with precise ones ("stay alert" or "maintain focus").

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while studying because it helps me stay alert and focused. For instance, low-volume instrumental tracks act like a comforting background that keeps me motivated during long study sessions.

× I prefer sad music more because I feel like they have a deeper meaning sending towards the listeners.

✓ I prefer sad music because I feel it has a deeper meaning for the listener.

The subject 'sad music' is singular/uncollective and should be referred to with singular pronoun 'it', not 'they'. 'Sending towards the listeners' is awkward; use 'for the listener' to express intended meaning. Also 'more' is redundant with 'prefer'. Suggestion: Use correct pronoun agreement and concise phrasing, e.g., 'I prefer sad music because I feel it has a deeper meaning for the listener.'

× It also conveys how the music feels all gloomy and provides the listener to feel along with the music.

✓ It also conveys a gloomy mood and allows the listener to feel the music.

Pronoun and verb usage: 'conveys how the music feels all gloomy' is awkward; use 'conveys a gloomy mood'. 'Provides the listener to feel' is incorrect — use 'allows the listener to feel' or 'helps the listener feel'. Suggestion: Use verbs that collocate correctly (convey + mood) and 'allow/help + someone + to + verb'. Replace vague phrasing with clearer nouns.

× Yes, because I feel like happy music cast that kinds of rhythm and beat that helps to lighten up your mood.

✓ Yes, because I feel happy music casts those kinds of rhythms and beats that help to lighten your mood.

Quantifier and number agreement: 'that kinds' is incorrect; use 'those kinds'. 'Rhythm and beat' should be plural if referring to types, so 'rhythms and beats'. Subject-verb agreement: 'happy music cast' should be 'casts'. 'Helps' should be 'help' to agree with plural 'rhythms and beats'. Suggestion: Ensure demonstratives and nouns agree in number and match verb forms accordingly.

× Preparing yourself to be ready for the day.

✓ They prepare you to be ready for the day.

Sentence fragment: the original is a participial phrase without a clear subject. Make it a complete sentence by providing a subject and correct verb. 'They' refers to rhythms and beats mentioned earlier. Suggestion: Avoid fragments by ensuring each sentence has a subject and finite verb.

× Usually umm, For example, usually at breakfast I umm, listen to some lighthearted happy music while eating.

✓ For example, I usually listen to lighthearted, happy music at breakfast while eating.

Redundancy and structure: 'Usually' repeated and filler 'umm' should be removed. Word order improved: place adverb 'usually' before the verb and 'at breakfast' before 'while eating' for clarity. Add comma between coordinate adjectives 'lighthearted, happy'. Suggestion: Remove fillers and avoid repeating adverbs; place adverbs in natural positions.

× No, I have never taken one, but I want to try one.

✓ No, I have never taken a class, but I want to try one.

Vague pronoun 'one' is acceptable in speech but written form should specify 'a class' for clarity. Use article 'a' with countable noun 'class'. Suggestion: Replace vague placeholders with explicit nouns and include appropriate articles.

× Well, because I find that if you could play music, you can actually create any rhythm and songs you want.

✓ Well, because I find that if you can play music, you can actually create any rhythms and songs you want.

Modal inconsistency: 'if you could play' suggests conditional past; use 'if you can play' for general ability. Also pluralize 'rhythm' to 'rhythms' to match 'songs'. Suggestion: Use present ability modal 'can' for general truths and ensure noun number consistency.

× You can also play music that particular instrument on like your favorite songs and.

✓ You can also play a particular instrument and play your favorite songs on it.

Preposition and word order errors: 'play music that particular instrument on' is incorrect. Correct structure is 'play an instrument' and 'play songs on it'. Remove trailing 'and'. Suggestion: Use the verb 'play' with 'an instrument' and the preposition 'on' after the object: 'play songs on it'.

× Yes, I often listen to them while working or studying.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music while working or studying.

Pronoun reference: 'them' is used to refer to 'music' which is uncountable and should not be replaced by 'them'. Use 'music' or 'it'. Suggestion: Use 'music' or the singular pronoun 'it' to refer to uncountable nouns.

× It helps me to do things more actively without being sleepy.

✓ It helps me work or study more actively without feeling sleepy.

Verb choice and adjective/adverb use: 'do things more actively' is vague; specify 'work or study'. 'Being sleepy' is better expressed as 'feeling sleepy'. Suggestion: Use precise verbs and 'feel' for states like sleepiness.

× It's also like I find it like my friend that helps me to concentrate more as well as be my study partner during the session.

✓ I also find it like a friend that helps me concentrate and acts as my study partner during study sessions.

Pronoun and article errors: repeated 'like' is unnecessary. Use 'a friend' not 'my friend' unless specific. 'Helps me to concentrate more as well as be my study partner' is awkward; use 'helps me concentrate and acts as my study partner'. Suggestion: Remove redundant words, use correct articles, and parallel verb structures (help + verb; act as + noun).