Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and add a clear topic sentence, then one supporting detail with a linking word. Reduce repetition (avoid repeating 'sad'/'happy') and use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'melancholic' or 'uplifting').

예시: I prefer different kinds of music depending on my mood. For example, I choose melancholic songs when I need to reflect, but I play upbeat, uplifting music when I want to feel energetic.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Use correct grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement, remove extra 'it') and one coherent reason with a linking word like 'because' or 'so'. Use stronger vocabulary (e.g., 'energises', 'uplifts').

예시: Yes, happy music definitely energises me because its upbeat rhythm boosts my energy and uplifts my mood.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and one or two specific details about the class (what you learned, frequency, or an activity). Use clearer phrasing instead of vague expressions like 'in a good way'.

예시: Yes, we have a music course at school that meets once a week. In that class we learn basic theory, listen to different genres, and practise using music for relaxation and classroom presentations.

제안: This answer is clear and relevant but can be tightened. Begin with a concise topic sentence, then briefly explain why using linking words. Avoid repeating 'lyrics' and 'song' unnecessarily.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks, but when I'm studying I only play instrumental tracks because lyrics distract me and make it harder to concentrate.

× It really depends on my mood because I prefer sad music whenever I am sad or I want to be solemn and I play happy music whenever I feel happy.

✓ It really depends on my mood, because I prefer sad music when I am sad or want to be solemn, and I play happy music when I feel happy.

Run-on and redundant use of 'whenever' cause awkwardness. Use 'when' for habitual present situations and add commas to separate clauses for clarity. Remove repeated subject 'I' before 'want' and 'play' to improve sentence flow. IDs: 6, 26

× Yes, it happy music makes me excited because it gives me some groove and then it boosts my energy and it it also lift my spirit.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me excited because it gives me a groove, boosts my energy, and also lifts my spirits.

Several issues: extra 'it' is erroneous, 'some groove' is unnatural — use 'a groove', parallel verbs should match: 'gives', 'boosts', 'lifts'. 'Lift' should be third-person singular 'lifts' to agree with singular subject 'music'. 'Spirit' is usually plural in this expression ('spirits'). Remove duplicate words and maintain parallel structure. IDs: 10, 27, 13

× Yes, there is a subject in my class that we need to study music and how to use music in a good way.

✓ Yes, there is a subject in my class in which we study music and how to use it well.

Awkward relative clause and wording. 'That we need to study music' is clumsy; use 'in which we study music' or 'where we study music'. Replace 'how to use music in a good way' with 'how to use it well' for natural phrasing. 'There is' is acceptable but refine following clause for clarity. IDs: 3, 11

× Yes, but not while I am studying with lyrics. I don't listen to music with lyrics because I get lost and just start to play with the song.

✓ Yes, but not while I am studying with lyrics. I don't listen to songs with lyrics because I get distracted and start fiddling with the song.

'Get lost' is unclear in this context; 'get distracted' is more precise. 'Play with the song' is informal and vague — use 'fiddle with the song' or 'focus on the song' depending on intended meaning. Tense is present habitual, so maintain present simple where appropriate. IDs: 6, 13

× So I only listen to instrumental music whenever I am studying.

✓ So I only listen to instrumental music when I am studying.

'Whenever' is acceptable but 'when' is more natural here. Maintain present continuous 'am studying' to indicate ongoing action; sentence is otherwise correct. Simplify wording for natural speech. IDs: 6