Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Remove fillers and repetitions, start with a clear topic sentence, and add one concrete reason or quick example. Use linking words to contrast briefly.

예시: I prefer happy music because it creates a positive, upbeat atmosphere that lifts my mood. For example, I usually play lively pop songs in the morning to feel more energetic, whereas sad songs tend to make me feel low, so I rarely choose them.

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar (e.g., “upbeat songs”). Use one linking phrase to show when you listen to them and give a specific example of a song or activity.

예시: Yes, definitely. Upbeat songs lift my spirits and give me energy and motivation. For instance, I play fast pop or dance tracks when I exercise or clean because they help me keep a high tempo and stay focused.

제안: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Start with a clear past-statement, then list two specific skills learned using linking words like “also” and “for example.” Be careful with verb forms.

예시: Yes, I took music classes at school when I was younger. In those compulsory lessons I learned to sing and keep rhythm by clapping, and I also studied songwriters and different musical genres, such as classical and pop.

제안: Make the answer more fluent and remove fillers. Give a clear contrast with linking words (e.g., “however”) and provide a brief reason why music distracts you during work or study.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores at home, such as cleaning, doing laundry, or showering. However, I avoid music when I study or work because it distracts me and reduces my concentration.

× I I would often go with happy music because it has like positive and cheerful cheerful vibes which can lift my mood up.

✓ I would often choose happy music because it has positive and cheerful vibes that can lift my mood.

Repetition 'cheerful cheerful' is an error; 'go with' is informal—'choose' fits better. 'Has like' is colloquial; remove 'like'. 'Lift my mood up' is wordy—'lift my mood' is concise. Use 'that' to link clause. Suggestion: avoid filler words and repetitions, choose precise verbs and connectors.

× On the other hand, sad music can be a little bit depressing so I don't often listen to the sad songs.

✓ On the other hand, sad music can be a little depressing, so I don't often listen to sad songs.

Use 'a little depressing' (not 'a little bit' for formal) and drop the definite article before 'sad songs' unless referring to specific songs. 'The sad songs' incorrectly implies specific songs. Suggestion: remove unnecessary articles and keep noun number consistent.

× Uh, yes, definitely. Songs with upbeat can really lift my spirit and uh, they can bring me uh, energy and motivation.

✓ Yes, definitely. Upbeat songs can really lift my spirits and give me energy and motivation.

'Songs with upbeat' is ungrammatical; correct order is 'upbeat songs'. 'Lift my spirit' is usually plural 'lift my spirits'. Use 'give me' instead of 'bring me' for abstract nouns. Suggestion: place adjectives before nouns and use common collocations.

× Whenever I do exercise or clean, uh, I often listen to happy music.

✓ Whenever I exercise or clean, I often listen to happy music.

Use simple present 'I exercise' rather than 'I do exercise' for natural phrasing. Remove fillers. Suggestion: use standard collocations: 'exercise' (verb) without 'do' unless necessary.

× Yes, but in the past when I was when I was at school, I attended class which was a music class which was a compulsory subject at school.

✓ Yes, when I was at school, I attended music classes; music was a compulsory subject.

Repeating 'when I was' and 'class which was a music class' is redundant. Simplify and split into two clauses. Use plural 'classes' if multiple sessions. Suggestion: remove repetition and use concise sentence structure.

× During these classes I learned sing to sing songs.

✓ During these classes I learned to sing songs.

Incorrect verb pattern 'learned sing to sing songs'. Correct pattern is 'learned to sing' or 'learned singing'. Use 'to sing songs' for ability. Suggestion: use correct infinitive after 'learned'.

× I also learned to clap following the music rhythm and I also learned about songwriters and different genres.

✓ I also learned to clap to the rhythm of the music, and I learned about songwriters and different genres.

Use preposition 'to' with 'clap to the rhythm' and 'rhythm of the music' is natural order. Remove repeated 'I also learned'. Suggestion: choose correct prepositions and avoid repetition.

× Yes, I do listen to music while doing a small test at home like cleaning umm, taking uh, doing the laundry or taking a shower.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while doing small tasks at home, like cleaning, doing the laundry, or taking a shower.

'A small test' is incorrect; context calls for 'small tasks'. Remove fillers and use plural 'tasks'. Suggestion: pick accurate nouns and parallel list items.

× But when it comes to work or study I can't listen to music because umm it is a kind of distracts me of what I'm doing.

✓ But when it comes to work or study, I can't listen to music because it distracts me from what I'm doing.

'It is a kind of distracts me of' is ungrammatical. Correct structure: 'it distracts me from'. Remove 'a kind of'. Suggestion: use correct verb 'distract' pattern 'distract someone from something'.