Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce filler words and give a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences and avoid repeating ideas. For example, state directly that you prefer happy music, then explain why with a specific situation and result.

예시: I prefer happy music. Because it lifts my mood when I’m stressed, it helps me concentrate and stay motivated; for instance, upbeat songs keep me focused while studying and make chores feel less tiring.

제안: Be concise and avoid repeating the same point. Use a linking phrase to add one concrete effect or example. Aim for two sentences: a clear yes/no with a reason, then a brief example of when it helps you.

예시: Yes, it does. Happy music boosts my energy and motivation, so for example when I’m working on a long assignment, upbeat songs help me stay focused and finish tasks faster.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and add one specific detail about the classes (what you learned or enjoyed). Reduce hesitations and avoid repeating the same idea twice.

예시: Yes, I took music classes at school as a child. I chose music instead of drama and learned basic singing and rhythm, which helped me enjoy performing in school concerts.

제안: Organize your answer: start with a clear statement, then give two specific activities and one brief reason. Remove fillers and finish with a short concluding phrase. Keep it to 3 sentences maximum.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores or cooking. For example, I play lively songs when I do the laundry and cook because they make repetitive tasks more enjoyable and help me feel less lonely.

× Umm, when it comes to uh, music, I usually prefer happy music because music is a thing that keeps the day going for me.

✓ Umm, when it comes to music, I usually prefer happy music because music is something that keeps my day going.

Uses present simple correctly but original had awkward noun phrase 'a thing that keeps the day going for me' and incorrect article usage ('the day' and 'for me'). Replace with 'something' and 'my day' for natural, grammatically correct expression.

× Like when I'm a very stressed or when I'm, uh, not uh, able to think of doing anything.

✓ For example, when I am very stressed or not able to think of doing anything.

Original has extra 'a' before 'very stressed' and disfluent fillers. Remove 'a' and fillers and use 'For example' or 'Like' properly to form a complete clause: 'when I am very stressed or not able to think of doing anything.' This fixes sentence structure and adjective usage.

× I used to play music, uh.

✓ I used to play music.

Original is acceptable spoken English but has unnecessary filler 'uh'. Correction removes filler. 'Used to' correctly expresses past habit; no tense change needed.

× Happy music makes me more excited because it keeps my energy levels up so I can keep going on and I can keep my work very well and I can do my work happily, yeah.

✓ Happy music makes me more excited because it keeps my energy levels up so I can keep going and do my work well and happily.

Original repeats 'keep' and 'I can' unnecessarily and uses awkward adverb placement ('keep my work very well'). Correction removes repetition, places adverbs correctly after verbs ('do my work well and happily'), and keeps present simple consistent.

× Actually, when I was a child, I used to, uh, go to my school's music class because, uh, we had to choose, uh, it for some subjects.

✓ Actually, when I was a child, I used to go to my school's music class because we had to choose it for some subjects.

Remove unnecessary fillers 'uh' and reposition 'it' correctly after 'choose'. 'Used to' and 'had to' are correct past forms; correction fixes word order and removes disfluencies.

× So I choose music, uh, instead of literature and drama.

✓ So I chose music instead of literature and drama.

The context is past ('when I was a child' / 'used to'), so verb should be past tense 'chose' not present 'choose'. This matches 'used to' and corrects tense error.

× So yeah, I took music classes when I was a kid.

✓ So yeah, I took music classes when I was a kid.

Sentence is correct; no grammatical change needed. It uses past tense appropriately. Included to show it's correct.

× Of course I listen to music while, while doing other things such as doing the laundry.

✓ Of course I listen to music while doing other things, such as doing the laundry.

Remove repeated 'while' and add comma for clarity. Present simple 'listen' is correct. Fixes redundancy and punctuation for natural phrasing.

× I listen to music, uh, when I'm bored, uh, and while I'm cooking most of the time when I'm alone to, to, uh, to make my loneliness go away, I listen to music and dance to the music, so I feel.

✓ I listen to music when I'm bored and while I'm cooking, mostly when I'm alone. To make my loneliness go away, I listen to music and dance to it.

Original contains many fillers and run-on structure. Break into two sentences, remove fillers, correct word order ('mostly when I'm alone'), and replace awkward phrase 'dance to the music, so I feel' with 'dance to it.' This clarifies meaning and uses present simple consistently.