Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify vocabulary, remove filler words, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus brief supporting detail. Use specific genres or artists correctly and avoid repetition. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and use a linking word when adding an example.

예시: I prefer happy, mellow music because it lifts my mood. For example, I often listen to upbeat K-pop or acoustic pop songs, which are cheerful and relaxing.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid hesitations and informal phrases, and correct grammar in linking clause. Add a specific reason and one brief example of when and why it excites you.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more energetic. For instance, I listen to upbeat K-pop tracks while exercising at the gym because the rhythm motivates me to keep going.

제안: Answer directly, fix grammar and word order, and give a specific plan or reason. Use linking words to show possibility and give one concrete detail about the instrument or goal.

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes yet, but I hope to in the future. If I have free time from work, I would like to take piano lessons because I want to learn to play simple classical pieces.

제안: Remove fillers and correct verb forms. Organize into a topic sentence followed by two specific examples using linking words (e.g., "for example", "also"). Use clear genre names instead of unclear words like "hubby songs".

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For example, I play calm instrumental music when I read and upbeat pop songs when I exercise or drive, because they help me concentrate and stay motivated.

× I prefer to listen to happy music and quiet music.

✓ I prefer listening to happy and quiet music.

After 'prefer' when comparing general preferences, the gerund (verb + -ing) form is more natural: 'prefer listening to' rather than 'prefer to listen to' in this context. Use parallel nouns and avoid repeating 'music'.

× Not very crazy.

✓ I don't like music that is very crazy.

The original fragment lacks a subject and verb. Turning it into a complete sentence with subject 'I' and verb 'do not like' clarifies the meaning.

× For example, I like to listen to kebab songs.

✓ For example, I like listening to K-pop songs.

'Kebab' is incorrect here; likely intended 'K-pop'. Also use gerund 'listening to' for consistency and correct capitalization and hyphenation for the genre name.

× Not all of them, but usually I like to listen to them because usually it is happy music.

✓ Not all of them, but I usually listen to ones that are happy.

Repeating 'usually' is redundant and 'it is happy music' is vague. Use 'ones that are happy' to refer back to 'songs' and make the sentence concise.

× It's really good when I am doing my exercise at the gym.

✓ It feels really good when I exercise at the gym.

'Do my exercise' is awkward; 'exercise' as a verb is more natural. 'It feels really good' matches the intended meaning and subject-verb agreement.

× So yes, I would say that's feel me very excited.

✓ So yes, I would say that makes me feel very excited.

'That's feel me' is ungrammatical. Use 'that makes me feel' to express cause and correct word order.

× No I haven't but I would to try in future maybe if I have a free time from work or something like that I will join for music classes.

✓ No, I haven't, but I would like to try in the future; maybe if I have free time from work I will join music classes.

After 'would' use the base form with 'like' (would like). Remove extra articles ('a free time' -> 'free time') and improve punctuation and word order for clarity.

× Like I want to learn about the piano I think it will be great classes.

✓ For example, I want to learn the piano; I think the classes would be great.

Use 'learn the piano' rather than 'learn about the piano' for instrument study. Also add article and modal 'would' for tentative opinion and improve sentence boundaries.

× Yes, I do listen to music when I reading books or when I do uh, exercising in uh, at the gym.

✓ Yes, I listen to music when I read books or when I exercise at the gym.

Use simple present 'listen' and 'read' for habitual actions. 'When I reading' is incorrect; use 'when I read'. Remove redundant 'do' and correct preposition 'at the gym'.

× I also, especially when I go out and uh, driving my car.

✓ I also, especially when I go out and drive my car,

Use base verb 'drive' after 'I' to form a correct clause; 'driving my car' needs an auxiliary ('am') to be continuous, but simple present 'drive' is appropriate for habitual action.

× I really enjoy when I uh uh, turn on some music, especially hubby songs.

✓ I really enjoy turning on some music, especially happy songs.

Change 'enjoy when I turn on' to the gerund 'enjoy turning on' for a smoother statement. 'Hubby' is a misspelling; 'happy' is likely intended. Remove filler 'uh'.