Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise, correct grammar (verb forms, countability), and use linking words to make it coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons with correct tense and phrasing. Avoid repetition of "I prefer happy music" and replace vague phrases like "enhance my emotional status" with more natural expressions.

예시: I prefer happy music because it helps me relax after a stressful day at school. For example, upbeat songs with a lively rhythm lift my mood and reduce anxiety, so I often listen to them while walking home to feel more cheerful.

제안: Use accurate subject-verb agreement and replace vague words with precise ones. Offer a short explanation and an example using linking words like "however" or "often". Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid repeating similar ideas.

예시: It depends. Some upbeat songs, especially fast tempo tracks, make me feel excited; however, most happy songs simply lift my spirits and reduce stress. For instance, a fast pop song might energize me before exercising, while mellow happy tunes calm me down.

제안: Use consistent past tense when talking about childhood activities and avoid unnecessary repetition of "participated". Provide a clear topic sentence, then specific details (duration, skills learned) with correct verb forms. Limit to 3–4 sentences.

예시: I don't take music classes now, but I did when I was a child. For example, I studied cello for three years, where I learned to read sheet music and play simple melodies, and I also took piano lessons, which I enjoyed because they improved my coordination and musical ear.

제안: Remove filler words, use smoother expressions (e.g., 'I'm not good at multitasking') and correct verb forms. Start with a direct answer, give a reason with a linking phrase, and include a brief specific example of when you avoid music to stay focused.

예시: No, I usually don't listen to music when I'm doing other tasks because I'm not good at multitasking. For example, when I'm studying for exams I need silence to concentrate, since music often interrupts my train of thought and reduces my accuracy.

× Listening to happy music make me relieve my stress and I can feel the happy atmosphere of the music and therefore enhance my emotional status.

✓ Listening to happy music makes me relieve my stress, and I can feel the happy atmosphere of the music, which therefore enhances my emotional state.

Subject-verb agreement with gerund subject: gerund phrase 'Listening to happy music' is singular and requires 'makes' (third person singular). Also 'enhance' must agree with singular subject and use 'enhances'. 'Emotional status' is unnatural; 'emotional state' is better. Add commas and 'which' to connect clauses more clearly. Suggestion: Use 'Listening to...' + singular verb, and use 'emotional state' for natural phrasing.

× Some happy music do make me feel excited, but most of them help me lift up my spirit and make me less stressful.

✓ Some happy music does make me feel excited, but most of it helps lift my spirits and makes me less stressed.

'Music' is an uncountable noun treated as singular, so use 'does' not 'do'. 'Most of them' is incorrect for uncountable noun; use 'most of it'. 'Lift up my spirit' is awkward; 'lift my spirits' is idiomatic. 'Make me less stressful' is incorrect because 'stressful' describes something that causes stress; use 'less stressed' to describe the person's state. Suggestion: Treat 'music' as singular/uncountable and use idiomatic expressions like 'lift my spirits' and 'less stressed'.

× Right now, I do not take any music classes, but in my childhood I have participated in multiple music classes.

✓ Right now, I do not take any music classes, but in my childhood I participated in multiple music classes.

Time expression 'in my childhood' refers to a finished time period in the past, so use simple past 'participated' rather than present perfect 'have participated'. Present perfect is used for past actions with relevance to the present or unspecified time. Suggestion: Use simple past for completed actions tied to a past time period.

× For example, I have participated in a cello music class for three years and learn how to read the notes and play melodies.

✓ For example, I participated in a cello class for three years and learned how to read notes and play melodies.

Mix of tenses: use simple past 'participated' and 'learned' to match the completed past period. 'Cello music class' is wordy; 'cello class' is more natural. 'Read the notes' -> 'read notes' is more idiomatic. Suggestion: Keep consistent past tense when describing past lessons and use concise noun phrases.

× I also played piano before and it was really fun.

✓ I also played the piano before, and it was really fun.

When referring to playing an instrument generally, use the definite article 'the' with the instrument: 'played the piano'. Add a comma before 'and' joining independent clauses. Suggestion: Use 'played the piano' for general reference to the instrument.

× I personally do not listen to music while doing other things.

✓ I personally do not listen to music while doing other things.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no preposition error. No change required. Suggestion: None.

× For one, I think I'm not a person good at multitasking.

✓ For one, I think I'm not a person who is good at multitasking.

Missing relative pronoun and verb: 'a person good at' is informal and grammatically incomplete; insert 'who is' to form a relative clause modifying 'person'. Suggestion: Use 'a person who is good at' for clear relative clause structure.

× Listening to music kind of uh, interrupt my thinking and also, uh, distract me from the thing I'm focusing on.

✓ Listening to music kind of, uh, interrupts my thinking and also, uh, distracts me from the thing I'm focusing on.

Subject 'Listening to music' is singular gerund phrase and needs third person singular verbs 'interrupts' and 'distracts'. Also maintain parallel verb forms. Keep filler 'uh' if representing speech, but verbs must agree. Suggestion: Use 'interrupts' and 'distracts' to match singular subject and maintain parallelism.