Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and precise: start with a clear topic sentence, fix awkward phrasing and avoid unnecessary words. Briefly explain why with one specific reason or example and use a linking word.

예시: I prefer sad music because I enjoy its emotional depth. For example, melancholic songs help me reflect after a long day, and their slower tempo makes it easier for me to relax and think.

제안: Correct unclear or irrelevant phrases and keep responses coherent. Give a direct answer, then a clear reason with a relevant example; avoid unrelated references and fragmented sentences.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more energetic because upbeat rhythms lift my mood. For instance, when I listen to pop songs in the morning I feel motivated to start my day and exercise.

제안: Good structure and coherence; remove repetition and shorten slightly. Keep direct answer then one concise reason and a brief future possibility with a linking word.

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes because my schedule is currently busy with work and study. However, if I have more free time in the future, I might take guitar lessons to learn basic chords.

제안: Very natural and effective. To improve, remove redundant phrases and combine similar ideas with a linking word; add one brief specific example to strengthen the response.

예시: Definitely. I often listen to music while doing homework or housework because it helps me relax and stay focused; for example, light instrumental tracks make it easier to concentrate while studying.

× I prefer sad music because I love melancholy by and also I really like being sentimental for a minute.

✓ I prefer sad music because I love melancholy and I also really like being sentimental for a minute.

The phrase 'melancholy by' contains an unnecessary preposition 'by'. Remove 'by' to correctly connect 'love melancholy'. Also add 'I' before 'also' for parallel structure: 'I love melancholy and I also really like...'. Keep tense and meaning unchanged.

× Yes, it does make me more excited because I can feel the Ivy League atmosphere surround me and also I like being in a happy. Bill.

✓ Yes, it does make me more excited because I can feel the 'Ivy League' atmosphere around me and I also like being happy.

The phrase 'surround me' is awkward with 'feel'; use 'around me' for natural prepositional usage. 'Being in a happy. Bill.' is ungrammatical—likely intended 'being happy'. Remove the stray 'Bill' and change 'being in a happy' to 'being happy'. Keep present tense.

× No, I haven't taken any music classes and I don't plan to at the moment because because my schedule is very busy with work and studying.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes and I don't plan to at the moment because my schedule is very busy with work and study.

The word 'because' is repeated; remove the duplicate. 'Studying' is acceptable but 'study' sounds more natural in this noun phrase 'busy with work and study'. Also ensure sentence remains negative present perfect and present simple for plans.

× If I ever have more free time in the future I might consider lessons to learn the guitar.

✓ If I ever have more free time in the future, I might consider lessons to learn the guitar.

This sentence mainly needs a comma after the conditional clause for clarity. Grammatically, 'lessons to learn the guitar' is acceptable, though more natural is 'lessons to learn the guitar' or 'guitar lessons'. The verb forms are correct (modal 'might' + base verb 'consider'). Suggestion: 'I might consider guitar lessons.'

× Definitely, I often listen to music while doing homework or housework because it helps me relax and unwind.

✓ Definitely. I often listen to music while doing homework or housework because it helps me relax and unwind.

Using 'Definitely,' at the start of the sentence with a comma is informal; replacing the comma with a full stop gives clearer sentence boundaries. Grammatically the clause is correct; no tense or verb errors. This improves clarity and flow.

× Moreover, I can concentrate at the same time.

✓ Moreover, I can concentrate at the same time.

This sentence is grammatically correct but slightly vague: 'at the same time' could specify 'while listening to music'. Suggestion: 'Moreover, I can concentrate while listening to music.' No grammatical change required under the given list.

× Personally, for me, music makes routine tasks more enjoyable.

✓ Personally, music makes routine tasks more enjoyable.

'Personally, for me,' is redundant because both phrases convey the same meaning. Remove 'for me' to avoid repetition. The sentence is otherwise grammatically correct.