Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your response more fluent, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific reason with a brief example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' correctly.

예시: I prefer happy music because upbeat songs energize me and help me concentrate on new tasks. For example, after finishing work I usually play dance or pop music to lift my mood and stay motivated.

제안: Clarify and correct vocabulary, reduce hesitations, and use linking words to connect ideas. Give a concise reason and a brief example or result. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm'.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because the energetic rhythm improves my mood. For instance, hearing an upbeat song often reminds me of fun times with friends and makes me feel energized.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repeated phrases and hesitations. Use a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason and a brief detail. Correct grammar (e.g. 'chance', 'music classes', 'parents').

예시: No, I haven't had the chance to take formal music classes. When I was young my parents encouraged me to focus on academics, so I only picked up some basic skills informally from friends.

제안: Give a concise, well-structured answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then provide 1–2 specific examples and a reason. Avoid unclear words and hesitations. Use linking words like 'for example' and 'also'.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing household chores. For example, I play music when washing dishes or cleaning because it helps me relax and makes routine tasks more enjoyable. I also listen while commuting to pass the time.

× I prefer happy music because upbeat energize me to an energize me and help me get ready for a new task.

✓ I prefer happy music because upbeat songs energize me and help me get ready for a new task.

The verb 'energize' must agree with the plural noun 'upbeat songs' and should be in base form with an -s for third person singular; also phrases were duplicated and word order was incorrect. Use a clear subject 'upbeat songs' and the correct verb form 'energize'. Remove repeated fragments and ensure parallel structure 'energize me and help me...'. Suggested practice: identify the subject and ensure the verb form matches it; avoid repetition.

× For example, after I finish my my work, I listen to dance or pop music.

✓ For example, after I finish my work, I listen to dance or pop music.

This sentence had a duplicated word 'my'. Remove the repeated word to correct the sentence. The tense and structure are otherwise correct. Suggested practice: read sentences aloud to catch duplicated words.

× This can make me feel more.

✓ This can make me feel more energetic.

The sentence ends with an incomplete comparative 'more' and lacks the adjective being compared. Add a suitable adjective 'energetic' to complete the idea. Suggested practice: ensure comparatives like 'more' are followed by adjectives or adverbial phrases.

× Yes, happy meal flick uh definitely make me more excited when I hear upbeat or the term.

✓ Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited when I hear upbeat songs or cheerful tunes.

'Happy meal flick' and 'the term' are incorrect fragments; likely intended 'happy music' and 'cheerful tunes'. Also subject-verb agreement requires 'makes' for 'music'. Replace unclear nouns with appropriate ones and correct verb form. Suggested practice: choose accurate vocabulary and check subject-verb agreement.

× The energetic rhythm can leave my mood and sometime bring a positive memory which make me feel umm, more energized.

✓ The energetic rhythm can lift my mood and sometimes bring back a positive memory, which makes me feel more energized.

'Leave my mood' is incorrect collocation—use 'lift my mood'. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. Relative clause subject-verb agreement requires 'which makes'. Also add 'back' to 'bring back a memory' for clarity. Suggested practice: learn common collocations and check adverb forms and agreement in relative clauses.

× No, I did not have the change, uh, the change to to take a cast of musics.

✓ No, I did not have the chance to take music classes.

Wrong words: 'change' should be 'chance'; 'cast of musics' should be 'music classes'. Also duplicate 'the change' and repeated 'to'. Keep past tense 'did not have' and use correct noun phrases. Suggested practice: expand vocabulary for common nouns and proofread for repeated words.

× When I was young, I focused mainly on academic subject because my parent encouraged me to prioritize the school program.

✓ When I was young, I focused mainly on academic subjects because my parents encouraged me to prioritize the school program.

Use plural 'subjects' and 'parents' to agree with meaning. 'On' is correctly used. Ensure plural forms where appropriate. Suggested practice: check singular/plural for countable nouns and possessors.

× So I just learned a little music, umm, from my friends.

✓ So I just learned a little music from my friends.

Remove filler 'umm' and the comma before 'from' for cleaner spoken-to-written transition. The sentence is otherwise fine. Suggested practice: when converting speech to writing, remove discourse fillers.

× Yeah, sure, I usually listen to music at home while doing household shop like uh, washing the dish and loudly.

✓ Yeah, sure, I usually listen to music at home while doing household chores like washing the dishes and cleaning.

'Household shop' is incorrect; use 'household chores'. 'Washing the dish' should be plural 'washing the dishes'. 'Loudly' does not fit here; likely meant 'cleaning' or another chore. Use correct collocations. Suggested practice: learn common collocations for household activities and pluralize countable nouns.

× So it's I think is hand help me relax and make routine more enjoyable.

✓ So I think it helps me relax and makes my routine more enjoyable.

The original had word order errors and extra words. Use 'I think it helps' and ensure subject-verb agreement: 'helps' and 'makes'. Add 'my' before 'routine' for clarity. Suggested practice: practice forming opinion clauses 'I think it helps...' and ensure verbs agree with their subjects.

× And I also, uh, listen to music when I comma.

✓ And I also listen to music when I commute.

'When I comma' is a speech-to-text error; intended 'commute'. Remove filler 'uh' and correct the verb 'commute' usage. The sentence then fits context. Suggested practice: replace spoken fillers and transcribed errors with intended words when writing.