Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use singular/plural and pronouns), avoid redundancy, and give one specific reason with brief supporting detail. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer happy music. When I'm stressed, cheerful songs lift my mood and help me forget my worries, so I often play upbeat playlists to feel more energetic.

제안: Use correct subject pronouns and tense, and organize ideas with linking words. Give two clear effects of the music and link them logically (e.g., 'and', 'because', 'so'). Avoid awkward phrasing like 'make I feel'.

예시: Yes. Happy music usually makes me feel more excited, and because it distracts me from my worries it also reduces my anxiety, so I often feel relaxed afterwards.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence, correct verb forms and nouns, and give a brief reason for stopping. Replace hesitations with clear words and a linking phrase like 'however' to show contrast.

예시: Yes, I took violin lessons when I was a child. However, I couldn't continue them in high school because I was too busy with my studies.

제안: Be concise and grammatically correct: use correct verb forms and pluralization. State the activities clearly and give one specific benefit, using linking words for clarity. Remove fillers like 'uh' and 'umm'.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while I work or do housework because it improves my mood and makes repetitive tasks more enjoyable.

× I would say I learned happy musics because when I got stressed, I think listening to happy music will help you relate all the stress and strains and also help you boost your emotions.

✓ I would say I learned happy music because when I got stressed, I thought listening to happy music would help me relieve stress and strains and also help boost my emotions.

Errors: 'happy musics' uses incorrect plural and article (music is uncountable) and 'you' is inconsistent with 'I'. Tense consistency: conversation about past habit should use past tense for thinking. Suggestions: Use uncountable 'music' not 'musics'; keep subject consistent (use 'I' not 'you'); use past tense 'thought' and conditional 'would'; use 'relieve stress' instead of 'relate all the stress'.

× Yeah, I will say most of the time happy musics make I feel more excited and at the same time it's helped me reduce my anxiety and sometimes I would feel like enjoyable relax after.

✓ Yeah, I would say most of the time happy music makes me feel more excited and at the same time it has helped me reduce my anxiety and sometimes I feel relaxed afterwards.

Errors: 'musics' plural is wrong (music is uncountable). 'make I feel' has wrong object pronoun and verb agreement; should be 'makes me feel' (third-person singular 'music' + 'makes'). 'it's helped' is contraction for 'it has helped' but referent better expressed as 'it has helped me'. 'enjoyable relax after' is ungrammatical; use 'feel relaxed afterwards'. Suggestions: Use uncountable 'music', correct subject-verb agreement, use object pronoun 'me', and prefer 'feel relaxed afterwards'.

× Yes I did. When I was a kid I used to take UMM class in violins, but unfortunately when I entered to high school I don't umm have a chance to continue studying.

✓ Yes I did. When I was a kid I used to take UMM violin classes, but unfortunately when I entered high school I didn't have a chance to continue studying.

Errors: 'used to take UMM class in violins' awkward: pluralize 'violin classes' or 'a violin class'. 'entered to high school' incorrect preposition; use 'entered high school' or 'started high school'. 'I don't ... have a chance' mixes present tense with past narrative; should be past 'I didn't have a chance'. Suggestions: Use 'violin classes', remove 'to' after 'entered', and maintain past tense consistently ('didn't have').

× Oh yes, what the times I would love to listen to music while I works or doing houseworks is make my emotions better and also uh makes my umm talks more enjoyable while listening to.

✓ Oh yes, most of the time I love to listen to music while I work or do housework; it makes my mood better and also makes my conversations more enjoyable.

Errors: 'what the times' unclear — use 'most of the time'. 'I would love' can be 'I love' for habitual present. 'I works' incorrect subject-verb agreement; should be 'I work'. 'doing houseworks' wrong plural and form; use 'do housework'. 'is make my emotions better' ungrammatical; use 'it makes my mood better'. 'makes my umm talks more enjoyable while listening to' awkward — use 'makes my conversations more enjoyable'. Suggestions: Use simple present for habits, correct subject-verb agreement, use uncountable 'housework', and rephrase for clarity.