Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb forms and articles (e.g., “K-pop” and “pop songs”). Avoid repetition (don’t repeat “happy music” three times).

예시: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me relax. For example, I often listen to K-pop and mainstream pop songs with upbeat rhythms, which cheer me up after a long day.

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct subject-verb agreement and clearer linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example,” “so”). Be specific about how the music affects you and give one concrete example. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because upbeat melodies and strong rhythms boost my energy. For instance, when I’m stressed I play lively pop songs to improve my focus and clear my mind.

× Definitely, I prefer happy music because usually happy music makes me relax and lift my mood so that's why I really enjoyed happy music.

✓ Definitely, I prefer happy music because it usually makes me relax and lifts my mood, so I really enjoy happy music.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses inconsistently ('prefer', 'makes', 'lift' vs 'enjoyed'). Use present tense consistently to match the general preference. Also 'happy music makes me relax' should be 'it usually makes me relax' for clarity and to avoid a missing subject. 'lift my mood' requires third person singular verb agreement with 'it' ('lifts'). Remove redundant phrase 'so that's why'. Suggestion: keep present simple for habitual actions and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× For example, I really like K pop and pop song.

✓ For example, I really like K-pop and pop songs.

Use the correct hyphenation 'K-pop' and plural 'pop songs' to refer to the genre in general. The singular 'pop song' with 'like' is awkward; using the plural indicates a general preference. Also no definite article is needed here.

× Yeah, of course happy music make my feel more excited because usually a beat music increase of many people.

✓ Yeah, of course happy music makes me feel more excited because upbeat music usually increases many people's energy.

Subject-verb agreement: 'happy music' is third person singular and requires 'makes' not 'make'. 'my feel' is incorrect pronoun order; use 'me feel'. The phrase 'a beat music increase of many people' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'upbeat music usually increases many people's energy' to express the intended meaning. Maintain present simple for general statements.

× Also when I feel really stressful then I listen to upbeat music because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

✓ Also, when I feel really stressed, I listen to upbeat music because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

Use the adjective 'stressed' rather than the adjective 'stressful' to describe a person's feelings. Add commas to separate the subordinate clause. Remove 'then' as it is unnecessary. The rest of the sentence is correct.