Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence (state preference), then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "I listen to both, but I prefer upbeat music") and avoid repetition. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: I usually prefer happy, energetic music because it motivates me and lifts my mood. However, I sometimes listen to sad songs when I want to reflect or relax. For daily activities like exercising or studying, upbeat music helps me stay focused and energetic.

제안: Answer directly and complete the thought. Begin with a clear yes/no, then give a specific reason and an example using linking words (for example, because / so). Fix grammar (e.g., "has a big influence on my day") and finish the sentence.

예시: Yes, definitely. Happy music boosts my energy and improves my mood, so I often play upbeat songs in the morning to feel more motivated for the day. For instance, a fast pop playlist helps me wake up and get ready for work or study.

× It depends on the mood. I both re.

✓ It depends on my mood. I listen to both.

The original has a pronoun/reference problem and unclear wording. 'the mood' is acceptable but 'my mood' is more natural for personal preference. 'I both re' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'I listen to both'. Use the pronoun 'my' for possession and a complete verb phrase 'listen to both' to clarify meaning. Suggestion: say 'It depends on my mood. I listen to both.'

× I listen to both kind of music like sad music and have the music gives happiness but I prefer happiness like energetic music because it motivates me a lot.

✓ I listen to both kinds of music, like sad music that expresses emotion and happy, energetic music that gives me happiness, but I prefer energetic music because it motivates me a lot.

Multiple errors here: 'both kind' should be 'both kinds' (singular/plural mismatch). The original also has awkward clause structure and incorrect verb usage 'have the music gives happiness'. Rewording separates ideas and uses correct noun forms and relative clauses. Suggestion: use 'kinds of music' and clear relative clauses: 'sad music that expresses emotion' and 'happy, energetic music that gives me happiness.'

× I listen to both kind of music like sad music and have the music gives happiness but I prefer happiness like energetic music because it motivates me a lot.

✓ I listen to both kinds of music, such as sad music and happy, energetic music, but I prefer energetic music because it motivates me a lot.

The sentence misuses nouns and adjectives: 'prefer happiness like energetic music' is awkward. Use adjective 'happy' or adjective phrase 'energetic' to modify 'music'. Also combine adjectives properly: 'happy, energetic music.' Suggestion: use 'happy, energetic music' and 'prefer energetic music.'

× Umm music gives happiness and music has a big gives big influence of the day, so I usually listen to happy music in the morning so that I can.

✓ Music makes me happy and has a big influence on my day, so I usually listen to happy music in the morning.

Errors include wrong verb phrases and extra words: 'music gives happiness' is acceptable but 'music has a big gives big influence' is wrong. Use 'music makes me happy' or 'gives me happiness.' 'Influence on my day' uses correct preposition. The trailing 'so that I can' is incomplete and should be removed or completed; here removal yields a natural sentence. Suggestion: 'Music makes me happy and has a big influence on my day, so I usually listen to happy music in the morning.'

× music has a big gives big influence of the day

✓ music has a big influence on my day

The original uses 'influence of the day' which is unnatural and mixes words. The correct preposition with 'influence' is 'on' (influence on something). Also 'big influence on my day' is idiomatic. Suggestion: 'influence on my day.'