Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), correct grammar (use uncountable 'music', plural 'songs' if needed), and give one or two specific reasons or examples. Use linking words like 'but' or 'however' to contrast moods.

예시: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me stay motivated. However, when I'm feeling low, I sometimes listen to sad songs that have meaningful lyrics because they help me process my feelings.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first, then add one or two specific effects with correct grammar and fewer hesitations. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to explain why and provide a brief example or result.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and lively melodies boost my energy. For example, when I listen to an upbeat song before exercising, I feel more motivated and can work out longer.

× Music, I always prefer a happy music.

✓ Music, I always prefer happy music.

'Music' is an uncountable noun here and does not take the indefinite article 'a'. Remove 'a' before 'happy music'. Use the adjective 'happy' directly with the uncountable noun 'music'.

× When I was happy, I loved to uh, listen happy music and sometime when I was feeling sad, so I prefer to listen sad musics, uh, including, umm, some phrases which, which close to my heart.

✓ When I am happy, I love to listen to happy music, and sometimes when I am feeling sad, I prefer to listen to sad music, including some songs that are close to my heart.

Multiple tense and form errors: maintain present tense to match the general preference (use 'am' and 'love' instead of 'was' and 'loved'). Use 'listen to' (verb + preposition) rather than 'listen' alone. 'Sometimes' is the correct adverb form. 'Music' is uncountable, so 'musics' is incorrect; use 'music' or 'songs'. 'Which, which' is redundant; use a relative clause 'that are close to my heart'. Also streamline fillers for clarity.

× That's it.

✓ That's all.

'That's it' is not incorrect grammatically but 'That's all' is more natural to conclude a statement about preferences. Either is acceptable; suggestion improves naturalness.

× Hated yet yes it's uh the happy music feels me excited it uh uh when I uh listen happy music, I got energetic energized I feel I feel my mood was I feel my I feel that it it makes my.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel excited. When I listen to happy music, I get energized and it improves my mood.

Original sentence has many issues: wrong word order ('feels me excited' should be 'makes me feel excited'), incorrect tense consistency ('got' -> 'get' for habitual action), missing 'to' after 'listen', awkward repetition and sentence fragments. Use subject + verb + object structure: 'happy music makes me feel excited'; use present simple for habitual effects ('When I listen... I get energized'). Simplify and remove fillers for clarity.