Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence stating preference, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid hesitation sounds and repetition, and correct grammar (e.g., verb tenses and article use). Aim for 2–4 sentences, using specific examples (name a band or song) and a linking word such as “because” or “so.”

예시: I prefer happy music, especially K-pop, because it lifts my mood and energizes me. For example, songs by [band name] make my day feel more joyful and productive, so I often listen to them when I have free time.

제안: Give a direct short answer then support with a clear reason and a specific example. Fix grammar (e.g., use “listening to” or “I listen to”), avoid vague phrases and repetition, and use linking words like “because” or “for example.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

예시: Yes. Listening to happy K-pop songs makes me feel lighter and more energetic because their upbeat rhythms and cheerful lyrics improve my mood. For example, when I play [song name], I feel motivated to start my day.

× I love, uh, happy music like K pop band music because it makes my day a joyful as well as exciting at the same time because I've listened to one of my favorite K pop band music that it makes my day fulfilling and I give up listening to music every time I had the free time.

✓ I love happy music, such as K-pop, because it makes my day joyful and exciting. I listen to my favorite K-pop bands when I have free time.

This sentence contains multiple structure and grammar issues (Grammar Problem Type ID 26). Errors include redundant and awkward phrasing ('a joyful as well as exciting at the same time'), incorrect tense and verb forms ('I've listened to one of my favorite' used incorrectly), and an incorrect expression 'I give up listening to music every time I had the free time' which conflicts in meaning and tense. Suggested improvements: split into two clear sentences, use parallel adjectives without extra fillers ('joyful and exciting'), use simple present for habitual actions ('I listen') and correct noun phrasing ('K-pop bands' or 'my favorite K-pop band'). Example corrections: 'I love happy music, such as K-pop, because it makes my day joyful and exciting. I listen to my favorite K-pop bands when I have free time.' These keep present tense for habitual actions and eliminate redundancy.

× Yes, I listening to happy music makes my mood lighter and happier throughout the day because I've listened also to one of my K pop band that popular pop you largely quite known throughout in the Philippines as well as in the South Korea and I like listening to the K pop band all the time especially. Their happy.

✓ Yes, listening to happy music makes my mood lighter and happier throughout the day because I have listened to a popular K-pop band that is well known in the Philippines and South Korea, and I especially like listening to K-pop all the time.

This sentence has errors with verb forms (Grammar Problem Type ID 8) and sentence structure. 'I listening' is incorrect; the correct gerund phrase is 'listening'. The clause 'I've listened also to one of my K pop band that popular pop you largely quite known' has multiple problems: wrong word order, missing linking verb, and awkward modifiers. Use present perfect 'I have listened' correctly, or simpler present 'I listen' for habitual actions. Also correct articles and adjective order ('a popular K-pop band that is well known in the Philippines and South Korea'). The fragment 'Their happy.' is incomplete and should be removed or completed (e.g., 'They are happy' is unrelated). Suggested correction combines ideas into a clear sentence, keeps gerund 'listening' to show general effect, and uses proper relative clause 'that is well known'.