Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but you can make it more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid minor grammar errors (e.g., “listen to sad music” and “gives me a sense of…”) and slightly awkward phrasing like “a sense of feelings towards.”

예시: I usually prefer happy music when I’m with friends because it creates an energetic, lively atmosphere that helps everyone relax. However, when I’m alone, I tend to listen to sad songs because their lyrics and slower tempo help me reflect on my emotions.

제안: Good direct response and clear reason, but tighten phrasing and use a linking word to connect idea and result. Avoid filler phrases like “it’s a yes” — say “definitely” then explain with a concise cause-effect structure. Use a specific example to strengthen your point.

예시: Definitely. When I listen to upbeat songs with my friends, the lively rhythm lifts everyone’s mood, so we feel more energetic and socialise more easily, for example dancing or singing along together.

× Well, it depends on if I am with my group of friends.

✓ Well, it depends on whether I am with my group of friends.

Use of 'if' vs 'whether': When presenting two alternatives or a condition in this context, 'whether' is more appropriate than 'if'. 'Whether' introduces a choice/condition clearly; use it for formal preference statements.

× I prefer happy music because it makes the environment so energetic and lively.

✓ I prefer happy music because it makes the atmosphere so energetic and lively.

The noun 'environment' is not incorrect but 'atmosphere' or 'mood' is a more natural collocation with music. Use 'atmosphere' to describe the feeling created by music. This is a collocation/word choice issue rather than a strict grammar error.

× However, when I'm alone, I prefer to listen sad music because it gives me a sense of feelings towards.

✓ However, when I'm alone, I prefer to listen to sad music because it gives me a sense of emotion.

Two issues: 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object (listen to music). Also, 'a sense of feelings towards' is ungrammatical and awkward; 'a sense of emotion' or 'a feeling of emotion' is clearer and grammatically correct.

× Definitely it's a yes.

✓ Definitely, it's a yes.

This sentence mainly needs punctuation for clarity. Grammatically it's acceptable, but adding a comma after 'Definitely' makes the spoken response clearer. No subject-verb mismatch here.

× Happy music with my friends makes the environment so lively and energetic that ultimately makes the socializing more enjoyable for me.

✓ Happy music with my friends makes the atmosphere so lively and energetic that it ultimately makes socializing more enjoyable for me.

The sentence has a missing subject in the second clause: 'that ultimately makes' needs an explicit subject ('it') referring back to the situation. Also changed 'environment' to 'atmosphere' and removed the article before 'socializing' for natural phrasing: 'socializing' is uncountable here and does not need 'the'.