Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: give a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, fix repetition and verb agreement, and keep within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words to contrast moods (for example: "however" or "but"). Provide a specific example of a happy song or artist to make your answer more concrete.

예시: I usually prefer happy music because it’s energetic and uplifting, especially when I’m working out. However, when I’m feeling under the weather I choose melancholic songs to match my mood. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop like Dua Lipa while exercising, and softer ballads when I need to relax.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence, remove hesitations and repeated words, and explain briefly how happy music affects you using clear linking words (for example: "because" or "so"). Add a short specific example of a song or situation to support your point.

예시: Yes, absolutely — happy music usually boosts my mood because the fast tempo and positive lyrics increase my energy. For instance, when I play an upbeat song while cooking, I immediately feel more cheerful and motivated.

× Well umm, I prefer happy music when I'm working out and because it's because it's energetic and uplifting, but when I'm feeling under the weather I will just put on melancholic song. So it's depend on my mood.

✓ Well, umm, I prefer happy music when I'm working out because it's energetic and uplifting, but when I'm feeling under the weather I will just put on a melancholic song. So it depends on my mood.

Multiple issues: missing article before 'melancholic song' (Article errors, ID 22) and incorrect verb form 'depend' (Subject-verb agreement / Present tense, ID 27/6). The phrase 'because it's because it's' is redundant and should be simplified. Use 'a melancholic song' because singular countable nouns require an article. Use 'depends' to agree with singular subject 'it' in present tense. Suggest simplifying repeated 'because' and ensure articles and subject-verb agreement are correct.

× Yes, absolutely. Happy music it it can boost my mood it you can.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Happy music can boost my mood.

The sentence contains redundant pronouns 'it it' and an extra 'it you can', which are incorrect pronoun usage and make the sentence ungrammatical (Incorrect use of pronouns, ID 12). Remove the unnecessary pronouns and keep the modal verb structure 'can boost my mood'. Ensure there is a single clear subject 'Happy music' followed by the verb phrase.

× When I'm feeling down then I just listen happy music and suddenly it I feel more relaxed.

✓ When I'm feeling down, I just listen to happy music and suddenly I feel more relaxed.

Two errors: missing preposition 'to' after 'listen' (Incorrect use of prepositions, ID 11) and an extra pronoun 'it' before 'I feel' (Incorrect use of pronouns, ID 12). Also comma needed after the adverbial clause. Use 'listen to music' and remove the stray 'it' to form a correct clause. The present simple tense 'I just listen' and 'I feel' fit the context.